By Sheila Tusiime
We have heard the mental health conversations, and yet, more times than not, men are often left out or not given priority. Well, it’s time we changed the narrative. How can we, as a society, change this?
Society has branded men as heroes, supermen, pillars for everyone but themselves. They have been told to man up and show less emotion. What this has done is force them to suppress emotions, find coping mechanisms like alcohol and drugs to escape their struggles, with some even committing suicide. However, the time is now for us to break societal norms and create platforms for men to get help—because they deserve it.
We have taught our boys from childhood that they should man up no matter the situation. We have taught them the strength in silence. We have taught them that it is not okay not to be okay—otherwise, you are a weak man.
Over the years, this narrative has started to change, but unfortunately, many are yet to embrace it. We must, as a society, normalize vulnerability for men. We need to let them know that it is okay not to be okay. We need to honor the brave ones who come out to share their stories to help others and support them fully.
We need to leave suppressing emotions in the past and embrace vulnerability and emotional intelligence for our men. The phrase “be a man” has become code for suppressing emotion. These outdated ideals are dangerous. They train boys to detach from their feelings and train men to suffer in private.
The men in society need to see those they look up to raise their voices and say it is okay not to be okay—and that there is help.
The celebrities, media personalities, leaders—all need to come out preaching the message of therapy, depression, anxiety, and trauma. Then we shall begin to see change because the men will know and appreciate that they are not alone.
From initiatives to support the girl child, to therapy and support systems tailored for her, in this, the boy child has been forgotten.
It is time for us to be intentional about how we tailor support systems that appreciate the fact that men express pain differently—frustration, withdrawal, and the like—and create spaces and campaigns that meet these men halfway.
Creating dialogues in spaces where the men are makes it easy. Take these conversations to them: gyms, bars, workplaces. Have those intentional check-ins that could prompt men to speak.
When was the last time a fellow man was vulnerable with a friend, openly expressing their emotions? To listen without fixing or teasing? That is where we need our men to be in order for them to heal and have meaningful conversations.
This has to be intentional and must start from childhood. That is how we prevent the cycle from repeating itself.
Boys must be taught at an early age to express their emotions, regulate them, and speak up when they need help. This eventually helps create better fathers, leaders, and friends in society.
We should not wait until there is a crisis, but mitigate it early—before the silence becomes suffering.
