The “I Date My Type” Syndrome and how it fails relationships

Love Therapist

He just wasn’t my type,’ she said for the ninth time in four years and almost broke down in tears in front of her friends as she wondered what her ancestors, let alone parents did that she was paying for.

It was her friend’s wedding and for the third time in a row she didn’t have a date at the wedding even when she had been dating Eric two weeks ago. For some reason she broke up with them a few days to a wedding or her birthday just like the last two weddings when she was with Chris and Gary respectively.

She felt like her parents ate the sour grapes but she was the one feeling the sour taste in the mouth; every guy that came along wasn’t anywhere near what she wanted in a man. Vanel was a well endowed woman in all the parts that mattered, a butt and hips to die for, she was Christian with a good heart, beautiful with a lovely smile as she was often told. She was convinced she deserved a good man, a man she chose, a man she would show off but as years passed by she started to think maybe she was beautiful but unlucky.

Every guy that came along had an issue, Danny was good in bed but too short, she wanted to look up for a kiss not bend down for one, Rob was from a rich family but a mummy’s boy only made decisions his mother approved, then there was Chris charming but always flirting with everyone they met including her friends, Gary was cute but he had no fashion sense always dressed like he just robbed a thrift shop, Sam was a great kisser but no social etiquette; ate with a loud mouth, yawned without covering his mouth, always picking his nose and God knows other things she hadn’t discovered yet and the list of exes goes on and on.

She often cried at night wondering why she couldn’t get a guy as good and almost as perfect as her, one who deserved her, she wasn’t vain and was a very down to earth woman talking to everyone but she knew she had what most didn’t have in one package and thus deserved more than she was getting.

Vanel wanted a handsome and driven man with a high sense of fashion, not necessarily. The Rock’s body but at least a four pack, taller than her, preferably driving and at least five years older, she wanted him to show her off to his friends, be independent from his parents, good sense of humour, he didn’t have to be a millionaire but should have some reasonable money.  It had been more than ten years since she left school but this man wasn’t showing up, maybe he had boarded a lame snail.

Ken on the other hand was too picky for his own good, he wanted a woman with a big butt, wide hips, tinny waist, pointed boobs, long legs, long finger nails, dimples, dog face, heavy lips and the whole nine yards on one woman.

One who is independent “I like a woman with her own money” he said, one who will respect me as a man, pamper me, wash my cloths, good with house chores and my family should love her. Have heard women dream and fantasize but Ken was something else entirely sadly to this day, he hasn’t woken up or realized his dream.

Here were two souls looking for love in vain over inconsequential things that rarely build a relationship.

The truth is we all want the best, we all have a list of the things we would prefer in a spouse, “the check list” some more exaggerated than others of course but have this thing “Type” that we use as a guideline for who to date.

A friend of mine recently got married and best believe-his wife was the clear opposite of all his exes, he had dated his Type time and again but always found something lacking in them until he ventured into the unknown, Prince Harry dated his type for seven years but only found a life companion when he went outside the box, many times we see married couples and be like hhmmn the lady is not his type, how did an ugly lady like that land a handsome guy, the guy is so ugly it must be the money or maybe he is good in bed among many comments. The truth is these people took a risked and thought outside the box and found love.

Some people have been lucky enough to find love and stick to their types but those are the lucky few. If you have dated more than three people of your type and it hasn’t worked out with them just ditch that list and find love in a hopeless place. It doesn’t mean you should settle for less but try out something different, it may pay off.

#throughmyeyes

 

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