OPINION: Museveni is the only "gamba n'ogu" who matters

Apparently, it's Herbert Anderson Burora -- a Deputy Resident City Commissioner of Kampala-Rubaga -- who popularised the phrase gamba n'ogu.

Gamba n'ogu is a Runyankore-Rukiga phrase which literally means "talk to this one" but it has since evolved to mean; a well placed person in government who someone can give a phone call for rescue when they mess up. Rescue can come even when a gamba n'ogu's friend is on the wrong side of the law. In this article, gamba n'ogu largely represents the new meaning.

On one of his appearances on NBS Television's Sunday show, The Eagle, with frustration and anger, Burora revealed that many people were driving their private cars in the thick of COVID-19, a practice that was against Covid-19 Standard Operating Procedures( SOPs) then, with impunity.

The impunity was fuelled by the fact that drivers had gamba n'ogus to call for rescue in case they were asked to stop. If you've been on Uganda's streets, you must have seen reckless drivers involved in motor accidents moving to roadsides and make phone calls to their gamba n'ogus. Usually, the gamba n'ogus disrupt protocol by giving hot orders to whoever is in charge and consequently, the errant drivers walk away scot free.

If you wonder how we've come to this point of nearly everyone having a gamba n'ogu, here's my hypothesis: In this era of Museveni's wide and deep political patronage, where the cabinet and parliament are bloated, where we have an almost endless structure of public administration ( from the president to Village Internal Security Officers), it's not uncommon to find a person who has personal relationships with a minister, a Resident City Commissioner, a Chief Administrative officer, a member of parliament etc.

Very many people have gamba n'ogus. The only difference lies in the weight of our gamba n'ogus. One person can have a gamba n'ogu who can only order for a release of a boda boda from a police post or station, another one might have a gamba n'ogu that can enable them evade a tax of 100+ million, and the other could be having a gamba n'ogu who can send them a police patrol or an army vehicle with armed soldiers for rescue etc.

On the onset of Covid-19, when lockdown restrictions were very draconian and effective, I had an emergency from the village. I thought of how I could overcome it and somehow, I suspected some village-based young man to be a potential helper. It turned out that he indeed had the contact of the area District Health Officer (DHO) which I needed the most at that moment.

It wasn't surprising that he had it. I appreciated his assistance and congratulated him for being prepared for emergencies. Immediately, he boasted to me that he has more phone contacts of people who matter in this country. I provoked him and he showed me two contacts of army generals and other many ministers. I teased him that he had hoarded numbers but he wasn't known in person by the eminent men and women whose contacts he boasted of having. On the instant, he called one lady who is still a minister and a powerful individual in the NRM in my presence and put his phone in loudspeaker mode for a random and pointless chat just to prove me wrong.

So, folks, when you are in your social circles sipping those powerful drinks, don't boast about having gamba n'ogus. Everyone seems to have one. If the urge to show importance or show off is too much to subdue, at least boast about having a heavyweight gamba n'ogu. Don't tell people how you personally know a District Police Commander or a Gombolola Internal Security Officer (GISO).

Many Ugandans are past those lightweight gamba n'ogus. But I even suspect that the only gamba n'ogu who really raises people's eyebrows now is Museveni himself. And probably, in some circles, it's not jaw dropping to have Museveni's private contact. The very reason why Anderson Burora was lamenting helplessly.

A Kampala RCC is well connected and their name could be familiar to the president but some people mean more than any RCC infront of Museveni. If an errant driver has a gamba n'ogu that means more than Anderson before the president, certainly Burora "aba talina kyagamba" errant driver.

In this year, don't look for more gamba n'ogus please, we are tired of the lawlessness!