Last year, I was privileged to travel across Europe, Africa and back and this opened a litany of new experiences and knowledge about a myriad of things. Among the many, was love.
See, I found love on foreign land and this is something that I have always been a failure at back home (That’s a story for another day). As I checked out of motherland Uganda for this particular trip, searching for love was not any of my priorities but here we were, falling in love.
Do you know that ‘I want to be with you forever,’ kind of love? I have had several sad experiences and I have cried tears before but letting go of my newly found love at the end of my trip felt sadder than most of them.
Almost three months later and I still believe that Clare (not real name) was/is the love of my life that I’ve always yearned for. Her character was so tender that I forgot about all the stress back home. She loved me more in a few weeks than my ex ever did in the two years we spent together.
I am thankful that life gave me a chance to experience and create unforgettable memories with someone I call the best thing to ever happen to me.
We are still in touch. We talk often over the cell phone but our different worlds now each day, though I am still hesitant, prove to me that we might never end up together and this has taught me something.
It has taught me that in life, we might meet the ‘love of our life’ but not be able to keep them for eternity and this is perfectly okay.
I would love to be the one who will walk Clare down the aisle, I would love to spend the rest of my life alongside her. I would want to relocate and settle in her homeland to hold her hand forever unfortunately, love, in the real world is not just like in the movies.
The poets and actors in movies will tell you how true love breaks barriers and conquers all differences between two hearts but it doesn’t in real life, and that’s fine.
In real life, you realize that it is not just about love. You might have thoughts of shifting to settle down with her, but hers are very far from settling in her hometown or country.
You might have bigger dreams of how both of you can live while hers/his are very small dreams in your perception. At times, the love of your life might actually have eyes on someone else and the only loving move you can pull is to let him/her go. Well, this is sad but it is fine. It is okay.
You might be tempted to ask, ‘if they have eyes on someone else or if you don’t end up together, doesn’t that mean that they were not the love of your life in the first place?’
My answer is a big no. I believe that some people may come into our lives for as little as a week or a few days but still turn out to be the best thing to ever happen to us. Clare made an impact that I doubt no one else will ever match. I might be wrong about that, but what is for sure though, is that no one will ever take her place in my heart.
Now tell me, who am I to call her anything short of the love of my life just because destiny diverged our paths? Who am I to downplay her significance, to alter the memories that I promised to forever cherish and keep close to my heart?
Must we always be desperate to find a better, stronger, more loving partner that will last forever with us? I think no, we should rather learn that it is fine not to end up with a partner of your dreams; some people don’t get to meet theirs for all their life.
Letting go and keeping the memories close to your heart might be just the blessing that you need instead of cursing.
We don’t always end up with those we wish for and it is fine. It is okay.