Sheikh Mohammed Mutumba, an imam at Kyampisi Mosque in Kayunga who over the weekend “discovered” that he had married a fellow man has narrated his ordeal of living with a man disguised as a woman.
Mutumba recently exchanged vows with “Swabullah Nabukeera” who turned out to be a man by the names of Richard Tumshabe.
Mutumba told The Rogue that he first suspected that Nabukeera was a man when he noticed that the “curves” on his hijab were abnormally shaped.
“I first saw her entering the mosque one day. She went to the women’s wing. She had large curves. I had never seen someone with such curves,” he said.
Mutumba said it was the first time he was seeing “the woman” at the mosque.
He claims that when he went to the pulpit to preach that day, his eyes kept wandering to where “Swabullah” was seated.
Then finally their eyes met and instantly, he said, he knew that Swabullah was the perfect woman.
As he led afternoon prayers that said he nearly forgot some of the words in the prayer because he had been smitten by Swabullah.
After the prayers, he waited to intercept her outside the mosque. He was successful and asked Swabullah for her number saying he wanted to teach her how to read the Koran. They exchanged telephone contacts.
Unknown to Mutumba, Swabullah was in fact a man who had disguised himself as a woman for ulterior motives.
He said he first suspected this during the first phone conversation he had with Swabullah.
“His voice was oscillating between that of a woman and a man. But he had told me he had flu so I thought that was the cause of the change in the voice,” Mutumba narrated.
Later they agreed to meet at the mosque for further discussions.
When they met, “Swabullah” confessed that “she” had feelings for Mutumba.
Mutumba’s heart skipped a beat.
She said she had been looking for a man to get married to but she had not been successful.
At this point almost salivating, Mutumba, too said, he was looking for a woman to marry.
The two agreed to meet another time to thrash out the details.
The next time they met, Mutumba proposed marriage to Swabullah.
She accepted but Mutumba answered that before they tie the knot, he had to first “taste ko” and touch those curves.
Swabullah resisted and said Mutumba will taste everything once they exchanged the marital vows.
Mutumba gave in and since he was an Imam, he hurriedly arranged for a marriage ceremony.
It now turns out that after the exchanging vows, Swabullah, changed tact.
On the wedding night when the marriage was supposed to be consummated, a sobbing Swabullah now claimed that her periods had set in.
“Don’t worry,” Mutumba said in Luganda. There will be a next time.
Two weeks later, the periods had not relented forcing Mutumba to smell a rat.
He suspected something was amiss.
First the curves had all of a sudden disappeared.
Secondly, one night after Swabullah rested his hand on his chest, Mutumba realised that that could not be a hand of a woman.
“I wanted to check him out but the problem is that there was no electricity and I did not have a candle,” he said.
As fate would later have it, Swabullah was later arrested on allegations that he had stolen a television set from one of the neighbours.
“She” was taken the police station where after a body search, it was discovered that Swabullah was indeed a man.
Mutumba who had escorted her then made a loud alarm before the officers saying he had long been suspected that Swabullah was a man.
After the embarrassment, Mutumba, decided to go into hiding.
The Rogue is a satirical column that runs every TUESDAY. Contact the author on +256-788179369/+256-752195226. Twitter: @ekiggundu