This was a special week, Anti-corruption week, so these are going to be special shots. All of them are going to be about walking anti-corruptly. Ready, aim and let’s fire.
Let us begin by thanking all you Ugandans who walked against corruption this week. I myself was unable to join you, unfortunately. I tried to drive to the walk, but traffic was so bad that I had to ditch the car and walk back home. So, I ended up doing an inadvertent anti-anti-corruption Walk.
Kizza Besigye, wasn’t able to join the saunter either, of course, because his house was under siege from the police, Nilepost reports, and why should he anyway? Over the past years we have seen that Besigye the least successful walker in Kampala– he never gets where he is walking to. Always ends up in jail instead.
No, much better for him to stay home and watch some TV. This doesn’t concern him. The theme of the walk was “It starts with me” and that doesn’t include inmate Besigye, since even the corruption that starts with the rest of us doesn’t even begin with him.
When we police bother the rest of us, we bribe them and they let us go. Besigye has never been let go by the cops, meaning he doesn’t bribe them. If he did, he wouldn’t be getting beaten up all the time. It is a non-starter with him.
The anti-corruption walk disrupted many businesses and other activities, reported Julius Kitone for Nilepost, proving that even on its first day, it achieved a reduction in corruption– fewer of the people who wanted to get to areas where fraud, embezzlement, bribery and abuse of power are engaged in, that is to say, their offices, were unable to reach these venues, so they had to postpone these activities to another day, when far from starting with them, it will resume with them.
Mubbinyo Charles was on his way to his civil service office to inflate the cost of toilet paper in his procurement budget but he had to go back home due to traffic. Mubbinyo is not his real name of course, just one of his aliases. Which also include, Otim Wasterman, Mugisha Frobisha, Lennox Patel and Jackie Akello. He has six National ID cards that he found a way of corruptioning into his wallet. We don’t know how. We just know that he wasn’t able to use them on Wednesday.
He had to install his VPN and whatsapp the person he allegedly bribes to get his IDs
I’m not saying that NIRA is corrupt. https://nilepost.co.ug/2018/02/05/auditor-general-wants-nira-to-account-for-shs-8-4-billion/
I am just saying, there is a guy who says people in NIRA are bribed for IDs.
Another shot: Cock and squeeze: This anti-corruption walk is going to be an annual event according to Julius’ report, meaning we are going to be fighting corruption next year, the year after and each year for the foreseeable future; so we expect to have corruption to fight every year until the economy implodes and no one can afford shoes to waste.
I don’t know where the walk ended because it was raining and I was back at home, so I just had sex and/or went to sleep instead of checking on the updates, but I see a future when the road from Kololo to the finish line has been stolen.
Corruption reports from so many news sources that I can’t link them all tell us that there have been pickpockets snatching funds for building, fixing and maintaining roads in Uganda for years. It’s only a matter of time before we have a grand heist where they start taking away actual existing roads. We will get to the Welcome To Kampala stage and find nothing but murram, bushes and a few monkeys and bushrats prancing around the area. Then we will have to get out of the taxi and walk through corruption to get to our destination.
I have a few more paragraphs here in my notes, and one of them actually contains the actual solution to state corruption, the actual means to finally put an end to theft of government funds, but my editor gives me a word limit and I can’t bribe him to post extra. If you want them, you will have to meet me in the alley behind Next Media services and bring me some chai. It may start with you, but it hasn’t ended with me.