I got a whatsApp message from a frustrated house wife who has been married for ten years and feels unappreciated, despised and unloved by her partner.
In the beginning he was great, always came home early, by 8:00pm latest. Currently, whether it’s a weekend or weekday, if it’s not yet midnight, the wife and children will not see him. He no longer has the time for her and has generally changed.
It’s obviously tough and I can’t even start to imagine her pain when tries to imagine where the man she married disappeared to. People change and that’s a reality of life but there are things we can do to prevent or change certain situations.
Here’s how to earn the respect of a man;
Add value to yourself and partner
I didn’t mention it in the beginning but when we spoke at length, she told me they met at work, this man was her boss and she decided to become a housewife when they got married because he could afford it.
That brings me to my first point, being a stay home mum is great and am not saying you can’t be a valuable house wife, my mum too never had a job but I know whatever my dad acquired, she contributed. She either brought a brilliant idea on table, motivated him to dream bigger and he appreciated it.
You too can earn your place as a worthy partner for your husband by the way you run your home affairs department.
Tidy up, make the home really warm and welcoming that he will want to come early than hang out with his friends at the bar or go wherever he spends time after work.
Light some candles, get a fragrance diffuser and make him want to hang out with you, right there.
Find a source of income
Like I mentioned earlier, my mum was a house wife all my life, she never had a job just like most of my aunties and female relatives.
Then, the men were mentored to take care of their wives while the wives took care of the home but I see a change in trends my sister.
Most of my guy friends have or want career women. The fact that you met at work, quit without discussing it but because you thought a loaded man can take care of you while you sleep might be another source of trouble in your home.
This is 2018; a man will respect a woman who earns some.
Get a job or start a home business (we now have some decent online home businesses that your should plag in), something to help you bring extra income to the family so you don’t have to beg or wait for husband to buy a panty, pads and all those basics a woman needs.
You will also be in position to make decisions and have choices when you become financially independent.
The fact that your husband is the sole provider comes with a lot of challenges that he might not want to discuss with you, making that effort to contribute financially might get him to open up.
Change your self
I have heard a lot of guys say they go home late after the soaps and funny TV programs are done, so they can have peace, avoid remote fights and drama.
That could be the reason your partner comes late too.
Try changing your lifestyle, watch news, follow some serious people on the internet in line with the things your man is interested in so you can sustain an intellectual conversation with him.
You will see a change in attitude, earn his confidence and he will be able to take you out when partying with the boys because now he can trust you won’t embarrass him.
Creating a balance between the soaps you watch and educative programs, watching and listening to great people will transform you.
Even a small change in lifestyle like attending a free marriage seminar at church once a month can make a difference.
Don’t forget to do the same with the kids, draw up a time table for them so that daddy can have some news time and catch up with mummy.
Trust me; it will work if you are patient. Men are turned on by women who challenge them.
More to a personal lifestyle change is the style sense. I don’t know what your style was before and what it is now but if being a house wife has confined you to lesus, ditch them.
Dress like a decent woman and look as great as you did when you first met. Being married doesn’t mean letting you go and becoming careless.
Remember that we have been attacked by slay queens, am not trying to scare you but reminding you that they are young, hot and available.
Most important to note is that while a positive change might not be for your man, it’s great for yourself and will give you personal growth which is fulfilling.
Your body is the only place you get to live in for the rest of your life, so take care of it and enjoy it.
Lastly, you see all these changes but haven’t tried to ask the man what could have gone wrong? Like I said earlier, the problem could be financial.
May be he now has to work overtime to manage the family budget, financial stress really messes guys up. And if that’s the case, let him see you trying to be part of the solution.
You will have to have a civil conversation to raise all these issues before you start implementing changes.