House of Falament: Speaker returns to restore order among disorganised members

The onerous house of Falament, scene of the highest paid unemployment in the nation is is session today. Let's check out the record of the proceedings.

Deputy Speaker: Attention, rascals! Attention please.

Member for Ggwa South: Shush! I'm on the phone.

Nshuti, I will have to call you back later. I'm in chambres. Don't worry, that is just the governments. Nothing can tamper with our personal relations. That? I already told you I am leaving my wife. After the next election, I promise…

Deputy Speaker: Member from Gwwa South, did you not hear me call for order?

Member From Ggwa South: Dude, can you give me a minute? I am in the middle of sensitive diplomatic exchange with Kigali. Wamma cheri, you are my only one.

Deputy Speaker: Member From Kiyaaye Zone, please do your thing.

Member From Ggwa South: What the… what? But Kiyaaye zone people, your reputation is truly justified. You actually stole my phone while I was still talking on it.

Member From Kiyaaye: Mister Semi-Speaker sir, you may proceed.

Deputy Speaker: Thank you. I call the house to order because I have a very important announcement. Ladies, gentlemen, and things from Ggwa municipality, it gives me great pleasure to bring out, fresh from a long absence but back stronger than ever, the incredible, the inimitable, the one, the only, put your hands together to welcome back Madaaaaaam Speakkeeerrr!!!

Member From Pimkwam: Oh no! She's back! Now I can't chew mulondo sticks in the plenary.

Speaker: thank you thank you. It's great to be back. Thank you Junior. I am glad to see that the place didn't entirely fall apart while I was gone.

Deputy Speaker: Don't worry, boss I had everything under control.

Member from Muzinga: Under control? Please! Flagrant crimes were rampant under your nose! Madam speaker, sir, allow me to bring it to your attention that last week the member from Mikayu stole my iPad, hacked my Tinder password and used it to hook up with my sister in law. I move that the penal code be amended to require the death penalty for him.

Speaker: Wait. Why do you have Tinder password if you are already married?

Member from Muzinga: I am married, that's why I need the password! With all due respect, madam speaker, duh!

Speaker: I call this house officially to order. Meaning I don't want to discuss your personal affairs. Only matters of national interest.

Member from Mbocwa: Madam speaker increasing government debt, increasing government spending with waning investors confidence has some economists fearing that a recession is imminent. I would like to enter this topic for discussion by the house.

Member for Kilama: It's okay. We took care of that last week. We increased our allowances so we will be okay.

Mbocwa: What about the citizens we represent? What will happen to them if we fall into a recession?

Member for Embeba : Point of objection. We can't have a recession. We just got started.

Member from Mbocwa: I said recession, not recess, you goat.

Member from Pimkwam: But some of these members are lousy. They don’t even know the difference between recession and recess. They don't know fiscal policy.

Member from Adwaro: Meet me at to the lodge and I'll show you my physical policy. Heheh.

Member From Muzinga: oh and Another thing that happened while you were gone. Sexual harassment in the house has increased. Now as you can see the woman member from Adwaro is worse than Pimkwam!

Member from Adwaro: Hey, stop blocking. There is a drought and mama thirsty. Mama got needs. This is shoot your shot.

Member From Pimkwam: Yeah stop blocking. Wamma where is this lodge?

Member from Adwaro: Just a few minutes away if we put the sirens on in traffic.

Member From Pimkwam: I request for a recess madam Speaker...