No matter how much people pretend, sex shall be had on Valentine's Day. The amount of sex that happens on Valentine‘s Day covers all the sex that has not happened all year long.
If you are not the main person in their love life, you will be like a must-happen Monday morning meeting or will be receiving enormous love on Wednesday.
The rate of breakups after Tuesday will put people in onion-cutting situations. Tears will flow.
Side dishes will be engaged the day before the 14th or the day after. And then some legends will have different side pieces to please the day before and after. Heaven is the goal.
People will make up all sorts of fights to get out of being engaged on Valentine’s Day. These fights are ongoing. They will blame you for the things that happened three months ago. The smart ones started fighting about two weeks ago.
But before you try to be smart, make sure that you are not the one being played. It is normally the ones on the receiving side of silence that play the game best. They will wait for your predictable self and play along.
After all, is said and done, there is nothing cliche about Valentine's Day sex. If there is a day to introduce new sex styles into that marriage, Tuesday is the day. Everyone is lovey-dovey and they don't have time for questions.
And if they start questioning where and how you know the new styles you are unveiling, dress up and go meet your side dish and give them some. Leave them to do their FBI work in peace.
This goes both ways. Valentine’s Day is the night to tell him that he has been rubbing the wrong spot for all the 9 years you have been married. Show them where the actual G-spot is. Let it all out.
Hold his machine gun and rub it on the right spot and maybe just maybe there will be orgasms happening in that bedroom sometime soon. The greater the sex, the happier the people, and the happier the world.
If the world was as open-minded sexually as it is politically, Valentine’s Day gifts would include things like new sex styles but we are all not ready to have that conversation.
Any time is tea time, don't deny your person sex because it is cliche and you are not a basic human being. Just make sure that you are introducing things in that sex life that will make Wednesday a very happy day.
Try that 69, lotus position, perfect the wheelbarrow style, and for the first time let the missionary rest. Let them concentrate on the gospel.
No matter how satisfied you are, don't give your main a reason to doubt you. If the main person is happy, the side people are happy too. And I wish side people knew this.
Till next time, it's about time!
