Just like we used to enjoy November, a month, hitherto called Musenene because of the now waning seasons of Grasshopper swarms that made even the more serious pupils forget the noble reason why they were at school, grasshoppers gathered people in communities although they didn't find out that their disunity in their captive was a blessing to the one sharpening teeth to enjoy that modest palatability.
Are the opposition political parties in Uganda just like the grasshoppers, let's find out ...
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From Mbarara to Ntungamo, a journey which usually costs me roughly Shs.7000 in a Toyota Hiace Taxi, conversations from occupants are always a bonus to the tiresome addition of a journey supplementing on the already tiresome one that has been worsened by a long stretch of Mpigi, Butambala, Sembabule and Bukomansimbi stretch due to the stubborn R. Katonga.
These conversations, laughter and gossip usually remind me of the satirical Mwaura and colleagues in Matatu Matata Matamu T Ford Reg No. MMM333 that I read in Ngugi wa Thiong'o's Devil on the Cross.
"Show all your receipts!" ordered the Conductor, whom I later found out that his name was Mustafa. "You lady wearing FDC (meaning the blue colour of her top), show your receipt," insisted Mustafa.
Mustafa's mention of FDC now turned the entire conversation political even when the girl seemed to have a hint on the current FDC stalemate.
"Of all Parties, why attach me to FDC? Does it still exist?" inquired the girl provocatively.
"Oh yes, it does. Haven't you heard how the big members of the party are feasting big? How do you for example receive Shs. 7B and give your fellows Shs. 700M to share. People are so inhuman. Hahaha!" another seemingly informed passenger ridiculed.
"And do you know what pains me?" retorted the lady, "These political parties' internal fights are just like grasshoppers confined, 'eating each other' and fighting in a polyethene bag, yet they have a task of fighting the same enemy. FDC and most political parties are like that."
As a journalist, hearing the passenger's confident mention of the figures, I got convinced that he must be an ardent viewer of NBS Live at 9 for the elaboration was elucidated by former FDC stalwart Dr Patrick Wakida during an interview in a certain bulletin.
"Surprisingly Ssemujju alleges that Museveni gives them the money. If I may ask, how do they transact such deals? Do they meet physically?" innocently inquired the driver.
"Hear this one's question. Do they need to call you and inform you of their meetings?" The whole taxi laughed.
"Hmhm, who has read Kakwenza's new book? Did you know that in that book, Kakwenza openly confesses that many people we think are the opposition, hide in the dark and go to Museveni to beg for money.? Another seemingly elite passenger joined in.
"What, how?"
Yeah, in that book, 'The Savage Avenger,' when Kakwenza was in confinement, he alleges that Muhoozi met him face to face and told him that, hehe."
I immediately shifted my face to look behind and see the man that was making that literal allusion for I, too, have read the book and found the very allegation.
After like a two-minute silence, Mustafa the conductor asked a rather 'contentious' question.
"But you people, do we have opposition in Uganda?"
"In Museveni's government, I don't think..."
"What about People Power... eh eh...this one called NUP?" retorted a seemingly young man who looked to be in his early 20's.
"This one is talking about NUP... hmm...that one. Haven't you heard people allege that that's NRM's project?"
"How"
"No.1, NUP receives the biggest share of the money supposed to be received by opposition political parties. Two, the party's Secretary General, that young man..."
"Rubongoya"
"Yes, he is a Museveni and State House project. Wasn't he educated and nurtured by State House?"
"Yes, I also heard that by the way..."
So now, do we have opposition in Uganda or we will accept to be ruled till God comes?" reiterated the passenger that asked the question before.
"People, you don't know Museveni's tactics. The old man knows he's aging and he knows how the opposition has caused him headaches. Maybe he is slashing the bushy way for the incoming successor." another passenger joined in.
Was I watching a citizenry Parliament, a talk show or a commentary?
Listening to people's talk instilled a conclusion in me that the politics of the day can make people self-proclaimed analysts. Just like the bodaboda cyclists would be analyzing the Ukrain-Russia War.
My destination was near. It was time for the conductor to remind me to pay my fare. In that short time, the bus conversation revealed to me the common man's perception of the state of affairs but what swayed me off is their understanding of the lack of a transparent opposition, a thought that coincided with what I also think.