That dog ruined my life now, I find out he is happy in love and getting married just a year later? (a shot of tequila) okay it’s not like I would take him back(another sip of Jameson), I don’t even hate him I just wish I would settle before him(a shot now), I feel that would be fair she downed another glass without wincing a bit.
She took hard liquor like juice I always prefer ram, alcohol content high but sweet on the lips. Drinking at home was the new black, for Claire, Sandra, Hannah and I, we rotated among ourselves at least twice a month visiting each other, and the golden rule was there would be liquor but its best to carry what you would prefer to drink. Ma ladies could tank John walkers, tequila, Jameson and the like and I was more of a ram or wine kind of gal.
Today was Claire’s turn to lose it, by 10:00 she already had her fill, was full-on tipsy and sang like a cannery about her exes in particular Joe. The usually tight-lipped I have it all together now cried about
her last three exes.
” I will never leave you” (Peter) literally left her at the altar, “I can’t imagine my life without you” (Henry) is
three years into a happy marriage while “you are my everything” (Joe) is getting married next week. These guys promised to stay in her life but all left to find better. She certainly was the problem and at this
realization she took another shot of tequila without wincing the heartbreak was too much that the physical pain didn’t hurt.
We were all past our mid-twenties (yes we cried about still being un-married and stopped) working with NGOs and Hannah in government so our Saturdays were free. On such days we would meet at midday have a long lunch then go shopping, ice cream or a movie at the cinema and later head to the designated location for a sleepover/house party.
We drank ourselves silly and shared the tame and nasty about each other, it was always a night of mischief. Work, sex, friends, crushes, flings, sex styles, potential guys, business, politics and did I
mention sex and how we preferred it- the best sex we have had- what we would like to try out literally everything. We had accepted our fate and were not about to tie each other down with bitterness about
how God had forgotten us.
On this particular night, Erin had joined us after missing for almost two years there was trouble in paradise as marriage wasn’t what it seemed on the outside. She lamented how her sweet caring husband turned into a control freak who now demanded she quit her job, dress down and worse cut off all her friends in simple terms us and be a boring housewife all dependent on him. She was contemplating leaving him though we advised her not to.
Damien my older brother always admired our setting but was in a happy relationship, when she(the girlfriend) broke it off on grounds that she needed to settle down and he wasn’t ready he adopted the idea and passed it on the guys.
There’s was wilder, they watched the game, played indoor games and at three went out to different clubs they insisted they had to pick some meat (get laid). He always had a crush on Erin and we always thought she was the reason he still couldn’t settle down at 38 yet successful and handsome.
In my early 20s, I realized, in life, our timing is not the same and we can never command God to do things like we would want all the time and on our time. Some people will marry at 18, others 20, 23, 25, 40, etc. but however worried you are at 30 worrying and getting stressed about it won’t bring your husband but will land you in a bunch of troublesome relationships.
We advised Claire to remember the things she didn’t like about her ex (Joe), not to contact him ignore the
friends they have in common to take her mind off the relationship. On weekends when weren’t doing house parties, we tried to spend extra time on our hobbies, I won’t lie to having many other than shopping, reading novels. The outdoor one we all enjoyed was watching basketball, watching tall handsome men sweat it out (yummy) we always attend marathons, dinners, each other’s work get together just to socialize and meet new people.
Being single and happy is basically about pampering oneself, for men now is the time to spend all your money on you, family, friends and did I mention “you” yes enjoy your money. Give yourself some extra
care, and set aside time just for you. Read a good book, take a long hot bath, watch soccer with the guys and stay late without worrying about your girlfriend/wife wondering where you at, admire sexy ladies in the club without feeling a tad bit guilty and listen to your favourite music.
My ladies, it is important to maintain a positive self-image while you are single, don’t lose focus by dressing down now that you are single. Buy yourself a new outfit, get your nails done, go out just to flirt
with the guys and feel sexy, treat yourself to a spa day, or get a massage. Just because you don’t have someone to impress or please doesn’t mean you should stop doing nice things for yourself. Work on
the relationships you care most about, and build yourself a strong support network. Spend time with your loved ones, talk about your life and your fears, and you will feel more and more loved.
Most importantly love yourself, forgive yourself then you can be able to give out love. However much being in love and being loved back is the most amazing feeling in life, being single can be fun and really enjoyable if you do it right.
#thtoughmyeyes
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