In many African households, parenting has long been rooted in deeply conservative principles. Children had their place, and parents had theirs—a hierarchy that was rarely questioned.
At the heart of this dynamic lies the notion in Uganda termed as“Omuzadde Tasobya,” a phrase that translates to “the parent never does wrong.” For generations, this belief shaped how children were raised: to be obedient, unquestioning, and submissive.
The parent’s word was final, and any deviation from it was seen as disrespectful or even rebellion.
This approach, while rooted in a desire to raise “respectful” and “cultured” children with girls, often considered “marriage material”—came with its consequences.
The “good child” syndrome, closely intertwined with Omuzadde Tasobya, has left many grappling with unresolved emotions, silent struggles, and skewed relationships with authority and accountability.
What few want to admit is that parents—like all humans—are prone to error. Parenting mistakes, left unacknowledged and unaddressed, can leave a lasting impact on a child’s emotional well-being.
Yet under Omuzadde Tasobya, apologising or showing remorse is seen as unnecessary. After all, parents are deemed infallible.
The idea that “parents are infallible” is not unique to African cultures. Across Asia, particularly in Confucian societies like China and Korea, there is a parallel belief in filial piety (xiao), where absolute respect for parents is seen as a moral virtue.
Similarly, in India, strict hierarchical family structures have historically placed parents’ authority above question. In all these cultures, children are expected to “know their place.” They must suppress their voices, feelings, and disagreements in the name of respect.
However, in these regions, conversations around generational parenting shifts are emerging such as South Korea, cultural movements like “Escape the Family” (탈가정) are gaining traction, with younger generations advocating for healthier parent-child relationships based on mutual respect rather than blind obedience.
In contrast, African households often lag in initiating such dialogue. The belief in Omuzadde Tasobya remains deeply ingrained, and challenging parental authority can still be considered taboo, no matter the emotional toll.
The results of this arrangement are clear unresolved emotional damage; children raised under this system often carry emotional wounds well into adulthood.
Suppression of emotions in childhood fosters adults who struggle to express their feelings or set boundaries.
Did I mention, inferiority complex; constant invalidation makes children feel unworthy of love or respect unless they conform to societal expectations—quiet, obedient, and submissive.
Aggression and impunity; by refusing to model accountability, parents inadvertently raise children who are arrogant, defensive, or unable to apologize when they are wrong.
They grow up believing power equals immunity from error.
And the distorted Love which becomes conditional—tied to achievements, silence, or obedience. Children learn that love and acceptance are earned, not freely given.
In today’s world, where we champion values like transparency and accountability, parenting must evolve. We cannot demand accountability from governments, institutions, and leaders while refusing to practice it in our homes.
If we teach children that authority must never be questioned, we raise a generation that remains silent in the face of wrongdoing. How, then, do we expect them to challenge corruption, injustice, or abuse as adults?
Charity begins at home, and so should accountability.
Parents must recognise that fostering vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but strength. When a parent admits their mistake or apologizes, it teaches children valuable lessons in humility, empathy, and responsibility.
In cultures like Sweden or Denmark, where “gentle parenting” is gaining ground, parents are encouraged to model behaviours they wish to see in their children apologising when wrong, validating emotions, and promoting open dialogue. The result? Children who grow up feeling heard, respected, and emotionally secure.
In a modern world where mental health is finally receiving attention, it’s time to redefine parenting norms. The “good child” syndrome has no place in a society striving for progress, equality, and emotional well-being.
Ultimately, breaking free from Omuzadde Tasobya requires introspection. The responsibility lies with us—to do better, to be better.
If we hope for a future where our children lead with courage and integrity, we must first allow them to question, learn, and grow without fear.
As Africans, we carry rich traditions and cultural pride, but not every tradition serves us in the modern world. It’s time to rewrite the narrative: parents are human too, and in acknowledging this truth, we pave the way for healthier, stronger relationships and generations.