Ssemakadde Wants KK's Law Office Out of ULS Vicinity

ULS president Isaac Ssemakadde not happy with the Law Society building being so close to AG Kiryowa Kiwanuka's law firm building and demands the man he expelled from the ULS Council moves to Kikoni.

SATIRE | Isaac Ssemakadde jumped from the under the umbrella held for him by one of the vixens like something had poked him out of his skin. He looked at the 'K&K Building' and looked at the Uganda Law Society Building. Then repeated again. And again.

The Monday morning rain drenched his mop of hair and scarf and soaked his brows.

The vixen attempted to extend the umbrella over his head but he pushed it aside. "Wait," he said.

Finally, he shook his head and muttered something inaudible under his breath. Then, turning to the twin mascots, he said, "has this building always been here?"

Yvonne: Yes, why?

Ssemakadde: I'm asking if this government stooge hasn't just only moved in near us because I threw him out of the ULS Council.

AG Kiryowa's law firm building along the Acacia Avenue is separated from the ULS Building by a perimeter wall.

Cynthia: Actually, KK was first here. ULS found his law firm here.

Ssemakadde: That's unacceptable. Why would a goobledygook erect his office near ULS. We can't be back on track when such government spongebobs...

"Do you mean us?" Yvonne and Cynthia asked in unison, cathing their boss in a very awkward island of words.

Ssemakadde smiled wanely. "You're not spongebobs, you're my main. That building should be in Kikoni or Bwaise."

Yvonne: Bang the table.

Cynthia: Yes, bang the table. Executive Order Numnber Three.

Yvonne: You took that straight from my tongue.

Ssamakadde shook his head and walked into the ULS Building, stopping every now and then to give cursory glances at the Kiryowa Kiwanuka law firm building.

He said he agreed with his mascot that the K&K Building called for an executive order to take it down.

"He either carries that building on his back and away from ULS premises or I will help him demolish it and we very well know which one is easier to execute," he said.

The ULS president said he did not understand why the Attorney General continues to "tie himself" on the noble association of lawyers even after he was summarily defenestrated from the ULS Council.

"He [AG Kiryowa Kiwanuka] is a pamphlet that Museveni doodles on whenever he has skanky yucky spasms to throw about and yet he keeps wanting to co-exist with us in this era of taking the law fraternity back on track," he said.

Ssemakadde issued his very first 'executive order' as ULS president a day into office by declaring the AG and Solicitor General persona non grata at the ULS Council.

His said his new council has no place for the archaic and colonial relics who are imposed on the Council to continue serving government interest.

However, while he has been sued by two groups of lawyers so far over the AG's expulsion, he is adamant the "cobwebs in the law fraternity must be cleaned" and that those who are not happy with his administration should wait for their turn.

He says by AG Kiryowa's law firm sitting like a Siamese twin with the ULS building, it gives the impression that the two bogies are working together.

"Maybe that happened in the errors, not it is the era and here we bang the tables to put things back on track."