By Lisa Kanyomozi Rabwoni
Is love language a term you are hearing for the first time or a concept you have learnt about and overtime have started to use it and seen the benefits of it. I found love languages about a year ago and have not looked back since. But before I go into what they do, let’s find out what they are and why they are there.
So the idea behind the love languages is that we all love differently, we express love differently and learning those differences help you do better. These five love languages were developed by Gary Chapman who is a marriage counselor with over 20 years of experience. The five love languages are;
- Words of Affirmation – This is expressing love through spoken affection and appreciation. Examples: You look good today. Congratulations on acing your pitch at work today. I love your new shoe. Understanding that your partner loves to be affirmed for what they do or the effort they put in.
- Acts of Service- Actions rather than words as show of love is apparently a commonly shared love language. Taking time out of your schedule to run an errand or help with something they are struggling with shows you actually care and want to lessen the load.
- Receiving Gifts – I don’t know if there is a lover who does not like thoughtful material items every now and then as a sign of love. But to some this speaks volumes especially when its sentimental say a book they have wanted, or something that they have been going on and on about.
- Quality Time – Undivided, undistracted attention with your partner. This can range from activities to watching movies to just being together for hours without any other distractions. Getting to know each other, plan and reflect on life but together. This is crucial for every relationship. Not making enough time for people that find this so important can ruin your relationship. (Probably why long distance does not work for some people.)
- Physical Touch – It can be deep intimacy, hugs or just holding hands. These actions speak loud and when these are held back or not acknowledged the person feels not as loved.
All these are important in a relationship but specific touch your person a lot more than the other. There’s two ways to know what love language works for your person by either taking a quiz that is not 100% accurate but will give you pointers or just taking the time to learn more about your person.
I also think these love languages can be used away from romantic relationships, friendships and family. It is also important to note that they can vary for your interactions. As much as quality time is important for all to me, it speaks louder romantically than it does for friends and family while words of affirmation coming from my friends and family are much deeper than romantically. Learn your person/people more this year to love them a whole lot better.