Parenting a child's mentality, why negative words could affect your child forever

By Kasoone Peninah Violah

A child’s mind is a blank slate that every passing person leaves a mark on. Everything a child becomes is a result of an idea, attitude or impression she or he takes in and accepts as true. To them, it becomes true regardless of what the fact might be.

If a child is raised by parents who continually tell him or her how good he is, parents that support, love, encourage and believe in him or her in whatever they do or don’t do, that child grows up with the belief that he or she is a good and valuable person.

This becomes a fundamental part of the way they view themselves in relation to their world. Thereafter, they hold this belief and it becomes reality to them.

On the other hand, if a child is raised by parents who easily use destructive words, criticisms, disapproval and physical or emotional punishments to discipline or control him or her, the child comes to the conclusion that something is wrong with him or her and that his parents know the whole truth about it.

The child starts to believe that he or she deserves the criticisms and punishments without needing to understand why. The child begins to feel not valuable, not loved and worthless.

Children need love like plants to need rain to grow, and once they feel unloved, they’ll feel insecure too. They’ll think that they are not good enough. This sense of love deprivation is manifested in misbehaviour, personality problems, bursts of anger, depression, hopelessness, lack of ambition and difficulties with relationships and/or with people.

All personality problems are rooted in love withheld as we grow. So, children often need counsellors, mentors and parental love to avoid such personality problems. At Kisubi Hospital, we have the adolescents’ Corner that is manned by qualified counsellors. At the Adolescents’ Corner, young children and youths are offered guidance and counselling, skills empowerment and also exposed to team building activities.

All these activities at Kisubi Hospital by the team of Counsellors create a platform through which society can be helped so that the relationship between children and parents is not just improved, but the children’s personalities and abilities to cope with life are also enhanced. Parents are encouraged to make use of this great service at Kisubi Hospital.

Kasoone Peninah Violah

(The In-charge of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit -NICU at Kisubi Hospital)