The do's and don'ts of 'chewing' a married woman

Marriage is a holy scene. It should be one of those things that people walk into when they are done. For better, for worse.

Marriage should be an institution that ends all the wild sex unless, of course, you marry well. Marriage means you now live and breathe the same machine gun or choochkie. It is supposed to be the epitome of exclusive sex.

That said, almost 95% of the married cheat. FACT. Don't be shocked that in recent times, women cheat more than men on the low.

Men have managed to teach women the game, and now women are the masters. And the sad part is that men don't even realize their woman is straying until they pay attention to her.

Ndabye ebinyuma naye bak’abasajja banyuma!

When you are chewing a married woman, you eat like a King. There is almost nothing else you are doing apart from sorting out her horn problems.

No transport money needed, no gifts given because they might cause problems, and the spending is minimised to the sessions. But this game has rules!

Do not fall in love. No matter how good or wet that choochkie is, it isn’t yours and most probably will never be. Even when sex becomes the most emotional part of the fling, do not let your heart get involved. It will be shattered.

Make sure there is an MoU in place. Before you get hard and use the other head to think, make sure that you establish ground rules.

Is it going to be your place or a hotel? If you are a single man, the option of your small apartment is an option. This apartment can't have more than four neighbours in the same compound. More than four is a crowd.

If both of you are married, then it has to be a hotel, a parking lot or office space for the kinky ones. No matter how hard you are, make sure that the place has airtight security. If you are caught, it is most likely the husband will deal with you first.

Married women serve the best leg. FACT. They are like virgins after a long spell of the same sex for years. They are open to all types of sex styles. They have come to you to make their legs shake something their husbands no longer deliver.

Make sure your sex game is epic. The only reason she is with you in the first place is because she needs to cum and calm. Deliver on the sex and keep her, forget the KPI, and she has no reason to sin.

Never disrespect her husband, and her children are non of your business. No matter how comfortable she has made you feel, no matter what type of rubbish she has said about the husband, don't ever feel the need to contribute. Listen, ride her and let her go.

Do not collect any evidence while at it. Do not take pictures with her, no matter how safe she makes you feel. She is something that will never belong to you.

Don't give another man a reason to think you are even looking at his wife in some type of way. People have been offended for less.

In the MoU, make sure that you discuss the phone call issue. It would be best if all phone calls came from her. She knows her situation better than she is letting you know.

Do not call her. Wait for when she needs to be serviced next, and she will call you if you are worth it.

For God's sake, do not ever be tempted to have coitus at her home. It doesn't matter, even if the husband works and lives on another planet. That's the one line you never cross, no matter how convincing she sounds. They will deal with you like a cockroach in that house.

Unless you are sure about how secure the place is, stay away from being touchy and getting naked. If it is going to be a quickie because you suspect a walk in any minute, it should be under five minutes. Come hard, dip it in, cum and pull your pants up and walk away.

If the hotel room is on you, which by the way should be a cost-sharing type of thing, make sure it is not the same place like a verse in the Bible. Change often and make sure the room number is shared when both of you are at the place.

Don't share the details on any social media inbox. You might get an unexpected guest, and it won't be for a threesome.

That woman is borrowed property. Don't get too attached. You will be left with your machine gun in your hands. At any point and without warning, she will go back to the owner. Know this, know peace.

Till next time, if it is not an emergency, stay away from people's wives.