The agony of being a father today
By Moses Wawah Onapa
As we celebrate fathers’ day this year, we should consider what it means to be a father.
Parenting has changed a lot in the 21st century, partly because of work demands and attitude. There is also the growing wave of single parenting. In this article today, I shall examine parenting especially fatherhood.
I want to examine the role of the father in the home. I want to argue for the benefits of the available father. Consequences of the absent father. I also want to highlight the personality traits and qualities of a good father. How to be a good and faithful father.
Who is a Father?
A father is the male parent of a child. The father has parental, legal, social and spiritual responsibilities and relationship with his child or children.
Roles of fathers in the home
The primary responsibilities of a father are to contribute to development of his child or children spiritually (Church) intellectually (school) emotionally (behaviour) physically (health) socially (connect with people).
Who Is A Good Father?
Anybody can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a daddy.
A daddy’s work is thankless and endless. Daddies make sure that all his children are well-adjusted in all dimensions of life. He is the family’s pillar of strength, support and instils discipline.
Qualities of A Father
A father is open-minded. He accepts that his children are not exactly like him. He leads by example with an open door policy. He spends quality time with his children. He is supportive and loyal. He protects his family. He gives unconditional love to all members of his family.
The Good Father
Loves his children unconditionally, give his children good education, provides good accommodation for the family,
He assist in the development of mental and physical strength of the children, He is protective and also affectionate, He listens non- judgmentally, He respects his wife; the mother of his children.
ABSENT FATHER
The absent father has abandoned his or her child, and failed to maintain contact with the child.
The usual definition of an absent father is one of who has no custodial connection with his child or children.
But there are also fathers who are physically present in the home but emotionally detached from the children. These are the absent fathers.
Types of Absent Fathers
Busy bee father - Are too busy with their jobs to take part in raising their children. They may give money for upkeep but they remain emotionally detached from their children.
Invisible father- They play no role at all in the lives of his children.
Authoritarian father - Fathers are authoritarian because they were raised by authoritarian parents.
Pessimistic and unhappy father
They complain about everything about their children all the time. Children find it difficult to please them or even get their approval
The Faithful father
A faithful father is one who is at home when supposed to be at home, engaged with his children and is very present in their lives. He loves his wife and demonstrates this love.
The best thing a father can do for his children is show them that he loves their mother.
He is a fan of his children, he punishes with caution and seeks to build a long-lasting relationship with his children.
How to be a faithful father
Read stories to the child, reading is affection, conversation and discussion.
Spend time with children. They want your time (not money), hug your children more, play more with them.
Teach them self-esteem. Teach them about finances.
Pay attention to non-verbal messages (80% of communication) Children communicate through non-verbal behavior Posture, facial expressions, gestures, and tone of voice will tell you what he is feeling. Fathers must interpret non-verbal behaviour and to ask for clarification.
Also be aware of impact of your own non-verbal messages. An angry glance may have the same impact as a harsh word.
Moses Wawah Onapa
0752825849
The writer is an educationist and a social commentator
