Why does my mind think about sex all the time?

By Diannah Nsabagasani                                                                                  

Google defines hyper-sexuality as compulsive sexual behaviour, an obsession with sexual thoughts, urges or mannerisms that may cause distress or negatively affect one’s health, job or relationships. Simply put, hyper-sexuality is sex addiction.

In this era, sex addiction does not come off as a problem. It is a cool thing. A man that has laid a few to many ladies is referred to as a “G.O.A.T”.

However just from the definition, sex addiction is a problem, it causes obsessive and repressive sexual thoughts, a fixation on sexual urges and fantasies. These become detrimental to a person’s general wellbeing as the need for sex or sex related activities increases.

Nathan Kamara, a psychologist and mental health expert says "these repetitive thoughts cause a stunt in one’s personal life or work as well as relationships."

A person will engage in large consumptions of pornographic content and have sex with several partners in spite the repercussions just to satisfy these recurring urges.”

Dr Paul Nyende, a lecturer in the Department of Mental Health at Makerere University attributes hyper-sexuality to attitudes and values.

He says "sex needs will unfold as a person develops, and when they reach a certain age, they need guidance and preparation while developing especially to what sex is supposed to be like."

Therefore, lack of guidance and preparation with discerns on what is right or wrong about sex affects how someone treats it. For example if all a person knows is sexual violence or abuse, their perception will be altered to the withdrawal mentality or most times promiscuity.

To cope with trauma, people end up using sex as a way to draw either attention or to forget.

Nyende says, traumatic experiences like rape cause feelings of unworthiness or incontinence, leading victims to thinking it’s ok to have numerous sexual partners or to overly expose themselves as a norm.

After traumatic experiences, the perception towards sex is changed.

“Sex is now seen as a tool for harm, revenge or for manipulation especially in women," says Nyende.

Compulsive sexual behaviour just like any mental illness can be treated with psychotherapy and medications like mood stabilizers or antidepressants.

Much as sex is a touchy and private subject, to some people being oversexed is a norm, a source of superiority amongst peers.

And statistics show that fewer men are willing to come out about such issues.

Just like Nyende says sex is a sensitive mechanism that requires visual, mental and physical centers working together.

It’s not a sport or a competition on who cums first or does better or the most. It’s something to be understood and appreciated.