For over 10 years they tried to have a baby in vain. Then the magic happened on Valentine's Day!

Bits of ME

Inside the delivery operating theatre, Jaqi Deweyi, lay on the operating table, numb.

Doctors were fussing over the state of her baby. He had come too early with placenta previa dragging in other complications.

The rush and speed at which they moved to try and save him could have stopped Deweyi’s heart.

“He is not breathing, he needs Oxygen…” one of the doctors had exclaimed.

11 years trying to have child and this was happening!

Outside of the delivery room, her husband Enock Nsubuga 40, impatiently waited for the love of his life and the prized BABY.

For over a decade, Nsubuga had stood by his wife amid confrontations.

“Are you still with Jaqi…with no children?” the malevolent gossipers would often ask of him.

He had nearly separated with her because of such.

The traumas of infertility sting deeper than the incisions of the C-section his wife was bearing; she had endured worse.

Unknowing of doctors trying to resuscitate the baby, Nsubuga hang on for good news.

A few meters away in the waiting room, Deweyi's mother excitedly muttered to herself, “Omwana wange ekyo kumuyita omugumba kimuvudeko”, loosely translated to mean “My daughter will no longer be labelled barren”.

Deweyi’s sisters in whose comfort she had been embraced for 10 years longed for their prayer to pass, their elder sister was finally going to be a mother.

Jaqi Deweyi Namataka is a renowned media personality and founder of Before the Baby Initiative. I have known her close to ten years, having met her at KFM one of the top English based radio stations in Kampala.

Bits of YOU

While some women were cursing their spouses for not sending them flowers or gifts on Valentine’s Day, Jaqi and Enock, as they are publicly known along social media circle,s were dreading the worst possible outcome.

Were they going to walk out of hospital with a dead or live baby?

Discovering that she was pregnant mid-2021, Deweyi had beforehand decided to break up with Nsubuga.

The pressures of failing to bear a child had bottled up in her throat, drowning her being.

"She told me; she had broken up with me. She had started seeing that our relationship was losing meaning because we didn’t have children together. Just when we’d gotten done, then boom, the baby comes," Nsubuga recounted.

Nsubuga acknowledged external influences from the kind who derive satisfaction from misfortune of others.

Sometimes it could be a genuine fight between us, but because people around us had told her she is not respected because she has no child, she started seeing things, most of it imaginary…”.

His lamentations of how much he loved her fell onto deaf ears. In utter disbelief, one time she had ordered him to go have a child with another woman.

"Cheating had never crossed my mind. I didn’t want to just have a child with anyone. I had this fantasy of having a child with her. I had told her that I would stay with her even if we didn’t have a child…our relationship is not just a relationship, its powerful, it's divine," Nsubuga said.

The stigma that was eating into Deweyi’s mental state from external forces had diminished her resolve to fight on.

“People can call you names when you are childless”, Deweyi said. She recollected a moment when one of her relatives blatantly told her, “abakazi abagumba muba nemikisa gya sente” to mean “barren women like you are always blessed with money”.

Another relative during a function had intentionally leaned on her for support and insolently stepped on her feet while breastfeeding.

"It’s funny that while I do so many things, radio, TV, activism and all, some people had written me off just because of a child. I got to the extent where whenever my husband would do things that hurt me, I would conclude it was because we didn’t have a child," Deweyi confessed.

The couple met in 2010 and traditionally introduced in 2012 but Deweyi had previously miscarried their first baby within their first year of dating.

“When she got pregnant then, we weren’t ready. We were scared then unfortunately she’d a miscarriage. It devastated us and we started trying desperately to get pregnant…” Nsubuga recalls.

Shortly after, Deweyi was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, a hormonal disorder to explain her menstrual irregularities that made it difficult for her to ovulate causing infertility in addition to Hydrosalpinx (blocked fallopian tubes).

"I saw over 15 fertility doctors in Uganda and South Africa undergoing a series of treatments. I endured tubal flashing several times to unblock the tubes, ovulation induction, Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (HCG) but all weren’t working," a teary Deweyi revealed.

It wasn’t until last year when she had a laparoscopic surgery with prolactin treatments to normalise her menstrual periods that she had a breakthrough.

“The ten years of trying to get pregnant have taught me about patience but most importantly they’ve taught me about the existence of God. If ever I doubted him, now I know he answers. I now believe no woman is barren”, Deweyi whispered wiping happy tears from her eyes.

Baby Mufasa Aiden Nsubuga, who amidst delivery had a brush with death, was successfully revived and treated.

By the time this piece went to press, mother, father and the new born ‘king’ were as joyful as a fly…Ulala.