Opinion: Did Dr Peter Mwesige have to announce his divorce on twitter?

By Solome Nakaweesi

Yesterday, 1 December was one loooong day... one of those days when you wish your day had 48 hours or even 72 hours or better still 96 hours! You are running around with end of year madness that befalls many of us during this time.

As you unwind after the hectic day, you browse through your phone to see those calls you missed that you will call first thing tomorrow morning... then roam the social media streets to get a glimpse of some news before hitting your sack. Lo and behold, you see this Tweet from someone you know...

You look again thinking it isn't want you have just seen on Twitter. What? Really?

A bell instantly rings in your head that it reminds you of your primary school bell... This Tweet from Dr. Peter G. Mwesige reminds me of that kriiiing kriiiing kriiiing electric bell at Buru Buru Primary School in Nairobi, a school that I attended as a child refugee in Nairobi.

That bell was deeply unsettling, annoying, confusing and perplexing. To date I don't know why - maybe because it would be pressed so hard by that weekly overzealous time keeper who would derive the pleasure of exercising power-over others by ruining our break time fun, freedom & kids play.

Or maybe because it would be pressed so hard for so long that it would unconsciously still ring in your mind for hours on end even when not pressed... Or maybe cos I would question why it was being rung so aggressively but no one gave me answers as a child.... Or maybe because it had an annoying kriiiiiing kriiiiiing kriiiiiing sound.

And so, this tweet from Dr. Peter Mwesige is just like that Bell (has given me those mixed emotions & many questions). So, the person I am who doesn't shy away from controversy & always analysing; I can't keep quiet or hold my opinion on this "Divorce Announcement Tweet".

I am still perplexed with Dr. Peter Mwesige's actions. Is this a typical case of a jilted husband now hiding behind technology to do the blame game?

Or is he playing victim? Or is looking for sympathy? Or revenge or playing reverse psychology or deflecting something? What do we take of this action?

And then if he is a PhD holder in Mass Communication, knows the power of the digital revolution is this tweet by commission or omission? As one of the 'respected media personalities' and mentors of lots of people in this dusty town - what does this say?

Isn't this away in which the media is being rallied just like rapid dogs to witch hunt, embarrass and silence Jackie and their kids?

Why do men love and hate women at the same time? Sometimes the things people do make you question what you thought you knew about them. Or even remove any doubt of an ounce of respect you had for them.

Now, I also need to understand; did Peter Mwesige marry Jackie Asiimwe via twitter to then go announce the Divorce to the Twitter In-laws?

[embed]http://nilepost.co.ug/2021/12/01/dr-peter-mwesige-wife-part-ways-after-20-years-in-marriage/[/embed]

Or is the twitter community the one supposed to resolve matters related to their matrimonial property and the Issues acquired during the subsistence of this marriage?

Did he seek Jackie or their teenage Boys consent before posting this Tweet? Don't they still have their right to privacy? Does someone own you fully in and after marriage?

What's the business of the whole world wide web and it's Netizens in a divorce which is presumably a private matter?

Do we or should we all publish our divorces on social media? Isn't this a case of reverse psychology purposed to make the world believe otherwise?

Looking at this from the locus of an ordinary Ugandan one asks why he is crying out so loud on twitter. Is he the first one to get divorced so as to go announcing it to the whole world as if it's their business?

Many divorces happen in various courts including that same high court and are we all into these twitter announcements of our hitches, marriages, orgasms, separations and divorces?

In a fast digitally evolving to world; where do we draw the line between the contours of the personal, private and public?

Let's wake up to the reality that the world we live in has changed as people now greatly value their inner peace of mind, freedom, happiness to a extent that they do will not stay in toxic unions/marriages / relationships or even be stuck while appeasing others - they will walk away.

In this dusty town, many people have gone through divorces with grace, picked their lessons and moved on.

For many Ugandans #Emitimagyakaluba and divorce is commonplace.

As you cry out loud on twitter about this your first divorce some of us Ugandans have had the second, third, fourth, name it but won't alarm the netizens - we fall, reflect, brush ourselves after the fall, pick ourselves up and move on without hurting those we spent great times with and cared for at one point in our lives.

In the contemporary world we live in we have come to appreciate that sometimes things don't work out and that it's perfectly okay.

Also, when something at an emotional level is broken don't try to fix fix fix fix it, you further hurt each other.

Move on and fly high with grace and dignity. Not so? And in this post-Covid-19 world adaptability is key for survival.

Anyway now as a feminist, you see why we do the work we do and keep arising even when we fall.

Things like these speak to our commitment of elimination of all forms of violence and makes a case why we are human rights advocates that push for human dignity.

Banange, let's even think of it; if someone in the calibre of Jackie Asiimwe can be publicly emotionally abused, her right to privacy violated through a tweet on a super social media busy day like World AIDS Day to when all traffic is leads to social media streets then what may have happened in the private for those 18-20 years?

Probably she may have endured other abuses in the private for those 18-20years - who knows?

If Jackie is made that vulnerable and violated with those 48 Tweet words, what about ordinary women out there what do they go through?

In my view, Peter's actions in that tweet have backfired. They were probably meant to hurt and discredit Jackie but just like they say about karma; any sober human being has made their deductions if this whole scenario and those few twitter characters.

Such actions speak to behaviours of chronically violent partners who derive pleasure in exercising power and depriving even the little dignity left of an EX (just like my primary school time keepers and the power-over they yielded with that electric bell even if sometimes the ring would be so short) .

In some divorce cases often one party may still want to make a jab at the EX even at dissolution of a union. Jabbing at your EX during a divorce is an option - you choose.

In my view, Peter had an option of celebrating the 18 years of love, happiness, beautiful kids and blessings they had together and forget the 2 years when things fell through. He had a choice to end this amicably but chose not to.

He had a choice not to alarm Netizens and the twitter community let alone take us on an adrenaline high in December as we are running around with deadlines and looking for Christmas money to go visit our beloved relatives in the villages before a possible Omnicrom lockdown...

He had a choice not to not waste our twitter emotions and those scarce social media bundles on the two years that didn't go well.

He had a choice to have a neat closure if for anything for those lovely teenage children who obviously use social media and are now probably struggling with his actions. We all see what he chose and totally respect his choice. I could go on forever!

As I pen off, I am team Jackie and the droves of women and men out there that find themselves in such messy divorce cases but may be silenced due to self preservation or just that veil of divorce stigma or finally realized their true worth to walk away or not even engage and learnt not to dignify such tweets with an answer...

I can now retire and wait for another looooong 48 hour, 72 Hour, 96 Hour of the next December Day.

Or betterstill, catch up and share notes with these my other Ugandans who are in their second or third  subsequent unions/marriages but still leave their options open in case these also fail and they move onto the next one with grace and dignity.

The author is a feminist and human rights activist.