'My father is better than yours'

Bits of ME

His physique and walk were indestructible.

At the sight of him from a distance,  those that had formed circles to play the popular Matatu card game would disperse!

Those who abandoned their water cans and instead at the football  pitch, against the parents warning  would scamper in haste.

Murmurs of his name would echo across the small village sounding arrival and calling the young adolescents to order.

His energetic and dominating voice was just value addition.

His name was an antidote for parents to realign misbehaving children.

The hapless would dread the unwanted invitation into his home for a reprimand and his caution would turn a rascal into an angel.

The village had a label for him: The  model father!

At home, he was my father

The ‘tough Daddy' my siblings unapologetically referred to him.

He always had his long bamboo stick  atop the roof and when bad behaviour visited , it was invited.

Those with the rare courage to ask why he was so ‘tough' on his children, he would  vehemently respond,  ‘bwesibere mukambwe,  tebajja kusoma' loosely translated to mean if am not tough, they will not study'

It was ‘tough love' we now reminisce during sibling visits. His disappearing physique drawn in his symbolic seat,  he  glows at our memories.

As the old adage goes, "by the time you realize that your father was right,  you will have your own children who think you’re wrong."

Growing up, my father wasn’t my friend, he was my Daddy to whom ill behaviour was inexcusable.

My mothers humility and soothing nature sealed a DREAM TEAM. With their football team of eleven children,  our household was a village in a village

His presence sent shivers into my system but I was never in doubt he had my best interests.

My career in journalism, I owe him. I recall reading to him newspaper items below his beloved tree shade as he dozed off.  Yet the timid me afraid of  backlash could not tip toe away.

Happy Fathers Day- Mr.  Gideon Twegumye Zake

Bits of YOU

So as you reminisce your own,  where would you place my father in yours?

It wouldn’t pause me a second if his cast was- old generational parenting.

The fathers in yesteryears commanded respect and fear in its true sense right?

Connie Musisi, a career development consultant, recollected: "Who could remain seated when a father returned from wherever…oh no!  The mere mention of taata wuuyo…everyone had to find their space."

She adds that many fathers then,  were next to  ‘God’ and approaching them was at Mummy’s booking.

“A father meant everything.  He meant the author and finisher of decision making and an all round sole provider of the home”,  Musisi narrates.

It was a disgrace for a father to have less money, to be  faithless, lifeless above all to be hopeless.

Fast forward today, Musisi says that today’s father is synonymous or rather not afraid of LESS.

How times have changed- you must be thinking.

“The role of a father has been reduced to procreation and many women go into marriages well knowing they’re going to be sole providers,  head of the home in terms of  house provisions and utilities”.

Nonetheless, salutations to fathers in this age who have set the agenda evwn beyond the old generational parenting of  men who hardly knew anything about child raising except provision of fund.

“… who knew that a man could change a nappy or even imagine it?  Some baby nurse,  attend school meetings,  shopping for their children and even do domestic chores which had been a preserve for women…”.

As the world celebrated fathers day and will continue to honour fathers for generations,  Musisi calls upon parents to remember that the upbringing of a boy  has a directly proportional effect on the father he will be tomorrow.

A poorly raised boy is mirrored in the present day father roles he fails to accomplish.

Worth noting is the fact the needs of a girl child are the same needs of a boy child raising from emotional,  physical,  social and psychological needs among others.

Therefore, the emphasis put on raising a girl child should be doubled while raising a boy child because their roles in future are not dissimilar but unique in any manner.

Ponder on my friends- in this changing times,  who is your choice of father?

Is it the fearful, tough love,  provider or the more social,   less involved,  (provision) friend?

Happy Fathers Day!