How to gift your lover mind blowing sex on Valentine's

With this year's Valentine's Day falling on a Sunday, you are about to know if you are the main dish, side dish or just a salad.

That said, wherever you fall, make sure that in whatever you do, whatever gift you are planning for them, prepare God's greatest gift to humankind.

Get it ready to wrap up the night. Lover's night sex has to be different. That sex has to hit different. It should give a height of sorts. You have to know that sex is only dirty when it is being done right.

I must say that tomorrow you have to bring your A-game. From your cologne to the atmosphere in the room to the taste of your cookie.

And not to forget the best of them all HYGIENE. No one wants to get down on a bush.

No matter what size you are, you must make sure you take time to clean you. Every inch, every curve, because you will never where the tongue will end up.

Those nipples can not taste like stagnant saltwater. And this goes for both genders. As a woman, I want to get to my man's nipples and make love to them with my tongue.

If you have not tried your man's nipples, he will soon find a sex therapist on these streets who will take him to heaven and back. And the cliche song will apply, "Valentine's is coming; where is your boyfriend?"

As a man, take your time on those clean nipples (Yap, dirty nipples do not deserve time). Give it your best until she tells you to slide that thing in. Allow her to let go.

Explore that part of her that you have always wanted to get to. Ask her what she wants. Talk to her in between.

Take off a minute and make love to her mind with your words. And to you, the feminist who is always high on equality, today is the day to bring that equality to the bedroom.

No one told women that once the knicker is off, you have to lay back and wait for his next move.

Tonight you take the lead and show him exactly what you are made of. If you need a shot to deal with your shyness, do exactly that.

I have said before, if you don't know where your G-spot is, do not expect a stranger to find it. Teach him how to take you to ecstasy.

Lead the way and show him where you want him and how you want him. As I said, lover's night has got to hit different. I am not going to tell you that you must get some tomorrow. It could be another day for you.

But I also won't snub at anyone who takes lovers' day serious. Sex should be the ultimate gift after all is said and done. Something about sex lets you sleep well at night. If Valentine's has found in that time of the month, you have so many options.

That thigh gap has been known to help him let go. The tighter, the better. Every man deserves tight space, and yes I know you gave birth, but that is why you have to take Kegels seriously.

I won't talk about the cleavage and 'going down' because you should know better if you are reading Miss D's articles.

You should have mastered the art of giving head. You also have to know that the best pain killer for those cramps is to get your blood boiling.

Allow yourself to be turned on. Although, there are a few things you need to know about going down on him. Do not, at any point, use your teeth. More saliva works magic.

Make sure you know which vein to go for. If the veins start building, tighten those mouth walls and take him to heaven. If he lets go in your mouth, you have to swallow.

A few pointers to the men; normalise using the tip of the tongue on the spot. When you get to the right spot, you will know. The moans, the gashing waters, the tight grips will all let you in. Please do not use your teeth either, as much as it is meaty, do not bite.

And dear men, normalise teaching your woman how to make you happy. You know the areas you have wanted to explore. I don't understand anyone who is shy to talk about sex.

It is the easiest thing to talk about. If you know how their behind looks like when they are naked, what then can be so hard to put in words? Talk your way to that organism.

Till next time, promise to always be by their side. Under them. Or on top of them.

Happy Valentine's Day lovers!