In 2021, it is upon us to prioritise things that make us happy. We have to change the way we have been doing things.
Let us make it a habit of stating our expectations from the go. It is time to stop dragging people into relationship mode when all we want from them is a moment of pleasure.
It is time to be open-minded, if you will. Memorandum of Understanding should become a criterion in our relationships. We have to reduce the hurting.
Tell someone exactly what you want them to be in your life. Sometimes we know that we are throwing a stone in the bush to see what will come out, but then even when it comes, we keep throwing to see if there is more.
TELL THE OTHER PERSON THAT S/HE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE. Men have to start giving credit to women. They have to understand that not every woman wants to replace the wife.
Sometimes, they are also looking for a shoulder to cry on with benefits. If she is your life to be the mutual ground between you and the wife, please let her know. If she is in your life to be a shock absorber, let her know.
Women need to know the role they have come in your life to play before they start taking up mummy and wife roles. Women, especially, hold back and do the runarounds on dates so as not to be judged. This is something we need to sort out.
If you are giving him some, just do it and level the expectations. Stop wasting people’s time and money if you know that you will not end up with them. And even then, we need to learn to speak up about what we want for a particular relationship.
Let us learn not to lie to ourselves. If a particular relationship is tailored for just sex, let both parties know it. If something changes along the way, then there is room to revise the MOU. Men have been labeled users because they wired to know the lines not to cross.
They know from the word go that it won’t last. They know that this type of woman is not wife material but is a good leg. Women should catch up too. I believe that it is time we stopped lying to ourselves that we can make two relationships work.
You cannot have a money man and a good sex man. Choose your pain and live with it. I pray and hope that we no longer have people who feel there is a need to remove a wedding band so as to attract someone.
We need to know what we are going in for, so that when it is time to walk away, we are contented.
There is no need to give anyone false hope. If you get there and the sex is so good, tell the other person you wish to see them more because they give you sexual healing. If they turn out to heal your soul, tell them that.
Tell them that for now, they are what you need to go through a certain phase in your marriage and let them know when that phase is gone. Please note that this is not just for men.
Women have got to stop. We all know that sometimes we are the silent users. We know that we have a man, but then we need something to keep us “alive”.
To keep the glow. Let him KNOW. When the other person has been filled in on what to expect from the relationship, we will reduce the number of bitter women and men on these streets. Let us open up to sex talk.
Till next time, we all deserve to be happy.