• Latest
  • Trending
  • All
  • News
  • Business
  • Politics
  • Lifestyle
Kadaga: Arap Moi enhanced trade, co-existence between Uganda and Kenya

My brief life as a Kenyan in Moi’s Nairobi

February 4, 2020
Ministers, government agencies to account to nation in Manifesto week

Finance minister Kasaija says Among request of shs 6billion from NSSF was irregular

February 5, 2023
Auto Draft

The ghost of Justice Benedicto Kiwanuka is still haunting Owiny Dollo’s chair, says Lukwago

February 5, 2023
Pervez Musharraf, Pakistan’s ex-president, dies aged 79

Pervez Musharraf, Pakistan’s ex-president, dies aged 79

February 5, 2023
Pope Francis encourages South Sudan clergy to speak out against injustice

Pope Francis encourages South Sudan clergy to speak out against injustice

February 5, 2023
US shoots down “spy” Chinese balloon

US shoots down “spy” Chinese balloon

February 5, 2023
VIDEO: When Obote landed in Mbarara on return in 1980

Ahmed Oduka: The man who heard about Obote and ‘everyone’s death rumour’, but not his own

February 5, 2023
EAC leaders meet in Burundi, call for “immediate ceasefire” in DRC

EAC leaders meet in Burundi, call for “immediate ceasefire” in DRC

February 5, 2023
Elly Karuhanga celebration brings Uganda’s distinguished elders together 

Elly Karuhanga celebration brings Uganda’s distinguished elders together 

February 4, 2023
Bobi Wine: I received information of plans to kidnap my children

Bobi Wine: Museveni’s regime fears artistes are a threat to its dynastic ambitions

February 4, 2023
Matua: Minister Amongi gave me evidence to pin NSSF rot

Who is Richard Matua: the NSSF petitioner? 

February 4, 2023
Logo
  • News
    • Politics
    • Business
    • 2021 Elections Watch
      • The Election Podcast
    • Exclusive
    • Investigations
  • Education
  • Security
    • Cyber Security
  • Health
    • Coronavirus outbreak
  • Opinions
    • Columns
      • Parting Shot
      • Two Sides of a Coin
      • Bazanye’s Quick Shots
      • Mable Twegumye Zake’s #BitsOfMe&You
      • But this Year!
      • What Did I Miss?
  • Lifestyle
    • Hatmahz Kitchen
    • Food Hub
    • Let’s Talk About Sex
    • Entertainment
    • Tour & Travel
    • Love Therapist
    • Homes
  • Global
    • Africa
    • Asia
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • The Americas
  • East Africa
    • Kenya
    • Rwanda
    • Tanzania
    • South Sudan
    • DR Congo
    • Ethiopia
    • Sudan
  • Technology
  • Ask the Mechanic
  • Special Reports
    • Kabaka Mutebi’s 25th Coronation Series
    • Focus on Somalia
    • Sino-Africa
    • Uganda at 56
    • Anti-Corruption Fight
    • Age Limit Map
    • Tuve Ku Kaveera
  • Sports
    • Place-It
    • StarTimes Uganda Premier League
    • Bundesliga
    • World Cup
  • Jobs
No Result
View All Result
Logo
No Result
View All Result
Home Opinions Columns Bazanye's Quick Shots

My brief life as a Kenyan in Moi’s Nairobi

On the death of longtime Kenyan ruler Daniel Arap Moi, Ernest Bazanye remembers growing up in Nairobi

Ernest Bazanye by Ernest Bazanye
February 4, 2020
in Bazanye's Quick Shots, Columns, Featured
Reading Time: 4 mins read
0
Kadaga: Arap Moi enhanced trade, co-existence between Uganda and Kenya

Former Kenyan President Daniel Arap Moi is dead

Vipi banange. Let me tell you a story.

For the first half of my life I, the one you know as Bazanye Sempebwa, was a Kenyan. 

Don’t panic. This is not one of my outrageous lies. This is true. I was a Kenyan. In much the same sway I am Ugandan now — in the sense that there wasn’t any convincing legal document to show it but it was in my essence. In the way I walked, in the way I talked, in the way I breathed the nation’s air. 

I was a Kenyan in the same way I am Ugandan, because I have no paper proof of Ugandanness. I lost my passport and, as for National ID, I am pursuing it with as much vigour as I pursue herpes. That is to say I am not going out of my way to acquire it, I just know in the back of my mind that I will get it eventually.

Let me tell you how lacking an ID was one of the most Kenyan experiences of my life. 

AD-03 AD-03 AD-03
ADVERTISEMENT

It was a cold dark winter’s night in Nairobi starring my friends and I, a small troop of teenagers with duo-syllabic nicknames each ending in O, names that have to be changed to protect that not-so-innocent. 

We were returning from a neighbourhood nightclub and had to go through a dark tree-lined pathway to get to the main road and then to home.

 I don’t know if this is the case now, but in the nineties, Kenyan teenagers didn’t have the broad access to cars that the Uhuru era has ushered in where, according to what I see on Facebook, every Kenyan youth now has at least a Probox. 

We were, however, fine with walking, because we were young, dumb, a bit drunk and dressed like The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and the combination of these factors leaves one with way more confidence than one should have when wandering through dark paths at 3:00am in nineties Nairobi.

Round a particularly sinister corner we obliviously ambled, only to freeze at the sound of something no teenahger should be able to recognise: an assault rifle cocking.

I didn’t abruptly and completely sober up at the sound of the click-click. I had been mugged before and my attitude to Nairobbery crime was settled and stoic. Like, “Oh, well, who needs a wristwatch anyway? And on the bright side, Obohos were notorious for stripping their victims naked, but it’s 3:00am, we can still confidently walk home in our drawers.”

But I had missed one thing. Obohos in the 90s had knives, not guns.

Guns? That was cops.

“Simama!” barked popo and out from the shadows they emerged, red eyes glowering out of faces canine and wolf-like, menacing and bloodthirsty.

“Toa kitambulisho!” he said.

Ugandans won’t understand. Ugandans today are not used to repression and you don’t yet know how to behave when a cop asks you to toa kitambulisho. A modern ugandan is likely to reply with “You as who?” a common Ugandan saying, but I was still Kenyan back then, I was not Ugandan yet, I had not acquired the appropriate lugezigezi levels. I was a child of the Moi regime; we had our fear of government forces perpetuated well and deeply into us.

So I pissed myself a bit.

And a bit more when I remembered that I didn’t have ID.

Affande Wolfman loomed above us, the gun glinting in the dark. reeling off the usual lines: 

Young man unaenda wapi

Young man unatoka wapi.

Young man unataka nini.

None of which are questions, and each of which translate succinctly to. “Cower before me you worm, for I am the mighty State Forces! Tremble in fear, quiver and quake, for it is I, armed government agent with impunity! Muahahhaha!”

As he did that his homie circled our group, stopping at each of us, plunging his paw into our pockets and removing everything in them. 

Took out everything, including the condoms. Because we were teenagers in the 90s we each still had our condoms. In the 90s, every teen had a condom, but not every teen had  chances to use it. Unlike the current generation, each member of whom is on their third pack at 3:00am.

He picked through the findings, handed back our keys, the prophylactics, the other guy’s IDs. And put all the money into his own pocket.

Then he gave us our stuff back and his colleague told us to go and not turn back.

We had been obohod by the cops.

The state empowers small poor men to oppress its citizens as much as it empowers large fat rich ones to do the same. Vivyo hivyo ndivyo ilivyo as the Kenyan saying went. We walked home, slept off our pubescent hangovers, and continued our lives, taking comfort in the solid knowledge that we would never have to rob children to survive, so we were still better off. 

Before I close I should say this about Kenya. You have to understand that it was my home and I loved it dearly, in spite of the cops and corruption. 

Uganda is home now, but … I say that to say this. Uganda now has national IDs. And Uganda is bringing back LDUs. Uganda has a rising crime rate. 

National IDs are weak, even as a merely cosmetic response to crime, and, in a way increase it, because now anyone who doesn’t have an ID at the moment they are asked for one becomes a criminal. And LDUs will take advantage of that to bully, harass, brutalise and, why not even rob us?

As usual, I don’t have the answers. I just know the questions. I am leaving. The next twenty years I will probably be Mauritian or something. 

 

Tags: daniel arap moikenyaKenyan NewsMoi deadnairobi
ShareTweetSend
Previous Post

Kadaga: Arap Moi enhanced trade, co-existence between Uganda and Kenya

Next Post

Ruparelia Group offers Felista Di Superstar scholarship at Kampala Parents School

Ernest Bazanye

Ernest Bazanye

Related Posts

VIDEO: When Obote landed in Mbarara on return in 1980

Ahmed Oduka: The man who heard about Obote and ‘everyone’s death rumour’, but not his own

by NP admin
February 5, 2023
0

Uganda’s former Police Band Master, the decorated Senior Superintendent of police Ahmed Oduka literally saw death roaming around, and tipped...

I am a victim of witch-hunt for questioning Minister Amongi’s irregular shs6bn request  from NSSF, says Byarugaba

I am a victim of witch-hunt for questioning Minister Amongi’s irregular shs6bn request from NSSF, says Byarugaba

by Kenneth Kazibwe
February 4, 2023
0

Former NSSF Managing Director, Richard Byarugaba has said he is being witch-hunted by Gender Minister, Betty Amongi for questioning the...

How fake female UPDF colonel was undressed

How fake female UPDF colonel was undressed

by Kenneth Kazibwe
February 3, 2023
0

Police in Buyende have arrested a woman who for long masqueraded as a senior UPDF  officer to order the release...

Uproar as CAA stops public from taking photos, videos at Entebbe Airport

Uproar as CAA stops public from taking photos, videos at Entebbe Airport

by Kenneth Kazibwe
February 2, 2023
0

Uganda Civil Aviation Authority's  move to revitalise the ban on taking of videos , photos at Entebbe Airport has attracted...

Next Post
Ruparelia Group offers Felista Di Superstar scholarship at Kampala Parents School

Ruparelia Group offers Felista Di Superstar scholarship at Kampala Parents School

ADVERTISEMENT
  • Trending
  • Comments
  • Latest
How fake female UPDF colonel was undressed

How fake female UPDF colonel was undressed

February 3, 2023
Matua: Minister Amongi gave me evidence to pin NSSF rot

Who is Richard Matua: the NSSF petitioner? 

February 4, 2023
US court awards family of Ugandan activist Nakajjigo Shs40bn over her wrongful death

US court awards family of Ugandan activist Nakajjigo Shs40bn over her wrongful death

February 1, 2023
Ministers, government agencies to account to nation in Manifesto week

Finance minister Kasaija says Among request of shs 6billion from NSSF was irregular

February 5, 2023
Auto Draft

The ghost of Justice Benedicto Kiwanuka is still haunting Owiny Dollo’s chair, says Lukwago

February 5, 2023
Pervez Musharraf, Pakistan’s ex-president, dies aged 79

Pervez Musharraf, Pakistan’s ex-president, dies aged 79

February 5, 2023
  • About
  • Advertise
  • Privacy & Policy
  • Careers
Call us: +256-417-720-101
Email: [email protected]

© 2020 Nile Post Uganda Ltd. - A Next Media Services Company.

No Result
View All Result
  • News
    • Politics
    • Business
    • 2021 Elections Watch
      • The Election Podcast
    • Exclusive
    • Investigations
  • Education
  • Security
    • Cyber Security
  • Health
    • Coronavirus outbreak
  • Opinions
    • Columns
      • Parting Shot
      • Two Sides of a Coin
      • Bazanye’s Quick Shots
      • Mable Twegumye Zake’s #BitsOfMe&You
      • But this Year!
      • What Did I Miss?
  • Lifestyle
    • Hatmahz Kitchen
    • Food Hub
    • Let’s Talk About Sex
    • Entertainment
    • Tour & Travel
    • Love Therapist
    • Homes
  • Global
    • Africa
    • Asia
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • The Americas
  • East Africa
    • Kenya
    • Rwanda
    • Tanzania
    • South Sudan
    • DR Congo
    • Ethiopia
    • Sudan
  • Technology
  • Ask the Mechanic
  • Special Reports
    • Kabaka Mutebi’s 25th Coronation Series
    • Focus on Somalia
    • Sino-Africa
    • Uganda at 56
    • Anti-Corruption Fight
    • Age Limit Map
    • Tuve Ku Kaveera
  • Sports
    • Place-It
    • StarTimes Uganda Premier League
    • Bundesliga
    • World Cup
  • Jobs

© 2020 Nile Post Uganda Ltd. - A Next Media Services Company.

Are you sure want to unlock this post?
Unlock left : 0
Are you sure want to cancel subscription?