Museveni to name "stubborn calf" after local opposition politician

President Museveni is a renowned cattle keeper with a herd that numbers in tens of hundreds according to those who have toured his farms at Kisozi and Rwakitura.

His admiration for the long horned Ankole cows is legendary and borders on insanity.

Those who have read Museveni's biography, "Sowing the Mustard Seed", he wrote that he gave his cows descriptive names, not only according to the animal, colour and the shape of the horns, but also their characteristics.

When his father Amos Kaguta passed away in February 2013, the president ordered for the slaughter of the chief bull "Rureemba Rwakireemba Kya Karanga" to mark the occasion.

Recently the president has been relaxing at his farm in Kisozi tending to his cattle and if you are one of his social media followers you would have noticed the barrage of pictures on his page.

But here is the real news. Last week, one his favourite cows at Kisozi gave birth to a calf.

Museveni who was in a middle of a meeting was informed about the development and promised to rush there to celebrate the good news.

After the meeting, the big man rushed to the kraal to take a look at the calf.

Alas! it was no where to be seen, one of the insiders told us.

In a matter of hours, it had gained some little strength and wandered from its mother.

A pick-up full of herdsmen and escorted by another of armed SFC personnel was dispatched to scour the vast farm and find the calf.

Half an hour later, there was still no word on its whereabouts, leading Museveni to become restless.

"That calf has the character of a stubborn opposition politician. I will name it "B...." Museveni said inaudibly.

Some of the people who were standing near the president claim they heard him say the name of a popular local politician who resides in Kyadondo East in Wakiso district.

They however could not say with absolute certainty whether he meant that opposition politician.

That politician has given him sleepless nights

Two hours later, the calf was found, to Museveni's relief.

He moved closer to have a close look at it and it came charging at him. Two SFC soldiers stepped in and restrained it. They tied it and put it back into the kraal.

"I told you. This is a rebel calf that hates peace. If not tamed in time, it will cause disorganisation in my herd like that nani..." Museveni said, stammering mid-sentence.

 

The Rogue is a satirical column that runs every TUESDAY on The Nile Post.

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