When you mention the name Mubarak Munyagwa, many things come to mind.
First, he is one of the most popular MPs when it comes to conjuring drama.
One could easily say he is a cross between a comedian and politician.
Secondly, when he is not in the mood for drama, he comes off as a serious fellow who happens to head one of the most influential committees in Parliament: I mean that committee with a mouthful of a name.. Committee on Statutory Authorities and State Enterprises (COSASE).
The committee is supposed to play an oversight function by asking state enterprises and authorities tough questions on matters of accountability and financial expenditure.
Indeed in this respect, Munyagwa’s committee has already put a number of senior public officials to the sword although miraculously, we have not seen any traces of blood on the floor.
Part of the reason why we are yet to see real blood is because of Munyagwa’s skilful and smooth methods of operation.
See, unlike some of his colleagues who harangue witnesses and shout themselves hoarse in meetings, Munyagwa will quietly scan the room and wait for the right time to pounce.
Which brings us to his meeting with KCCA boss, Andrew Kitaka, at a top city hotel.
The Rogue has been told by reliable sources that this was one of the most serious meetings in Munyagwa’s political career.
Apparently, Munyagwa has been itching to meet Kitaka privately to inform him of some serious issues that need immediate attention at KCCA.
The last time Kitaka appeared before COSASE over matters related to one of the employees, he seemed to have been in a hurry at the end of the meeting.
Munyagwa sprinted out of Parliament tried to catch up with Kitaka but it was too late. Kitaka had vanished.
He called his phone but it was constantly busy.
Then as luck would have it, one day Kitaka returned one of the missed calls. The number had called him 40 times so he suspected this must have been urgent.
When he called, the person at the receiving end was none other than Munyagwa.
“Yes honourable… I am returning your missed call,” Kitaka said in a stuttering voice.
“I need to see you badly,” Munyagwa replied.
An anxious Kitaka quipped: “Is there a problem sir?”
“Not really,” Munyagwa replied….”but yes there is a small problem. You promised me some coffee. Don’t you think it is long overdue?”
“Oh, I am sorry. I have been busy with work… as you know KCCA but in a couple of days, we shall meet,” Kitaka promised.
Days later the two met at a city hotel and like the photos illustrate Kitaka bought Munyagwa endless cups of coffee.
At the end of the meeting, Kitaka handed the MP a visibly heavy envelope as a sign of appreciation for the good work as chair of COSASE.
In it, there was…a loaf of bread and a tin of butter.
Munyagwa, with a disappointed look on his face wondered why he would be handed an envelope with bread and butter.
Then he remembered that in his constituency, he is popularly known as “mugaati gwa bata.”
He smiled sheepishly and walked to his car.
The Rogue is a satirical column that runs once a week on The Nile Post.
Contact the author on: +256-788179369/+256-752195226