I’m often uncomfortable during sex — there’s almost more pain than pleasure. I do like foreplay, but usually not intercourse. What’s wrong with me?
There are many reasons why women experience pain during intercourse. Some have an emotional reason; others have a physical reason. The fantastic starting point you have is that you do love foreplay with your husband. The fact you find some things do feel nice is a big positive.
It’s important to rule out any physical cause with your gynecologist, like an ongoing infection. On the emotional side, is there a pattern to your pain?
For example, do you have periods of high stress in your work or some other aspect of your life? Stress can tense up vaginal muscles and make sex painful.
Or perhaps there’s something you feel guilty about during sex? Maybe there’s part of you that thinks you don’t deserve to have great sex?
Thinking about your answers to these questions may help you identify where this pain comes from. It’s important to share these thoughts with your husband so he’s looped in that you’re feeling a little tense or inhibited. You both deserve to have sexual enjoyment and communicating is the first step.