Things women want from Men but will never say

Women are very interesting creatures, many have joked they will never understand women. How do you attempt to understand someone who says they are fine but in reality they want you to give them extra attention? they say leave me alone yet they mean stay and pamper them?

I have interacted with lots of women and conducted personal research regarding what they need from the men in their lives. From their dads; they need, protection, understanding and pampering, from male friends; other than the obvious they need you to stay a supportive friend without expecting any sexual favours, from their spouses; all the above with sex on top.

Not surprising the qualities women seek in heterosexual romantic partners, male friends, and men in general, are not all that different from what they seek in a friend. This makes sense because any good relationship is built on some basic, down-to-earth qualities, your true self not what you want others to see you as.

At first glance, many women will say they need a man who is strong and all manly masculine, macho, or heroic, but all in all, what they need is a kind-hearted man. One who would be affected when we cry, notice the little things, be understanding when we have had a bad day, men who are willing to meet them where they are and treat them fairly and equitably — and are able to make sure that the romantic spark keeps burning.

Sandra has dated them all the macho and the wimps for lack of a better word and she swears the best was Dan who was a little bit of both. ALL strong and manly but also kind, patient, understanding, empathetic and compassionate. Regardless of the type of relationship, men and women should be considerate of each other's feelings. Recognize that a partner’s trials and tribulations matter to her and that partners’ roles are to cherish and care for and about one another.

Sandra calls herself a lover, she loves love and being in love, she has to find real love no matter what, she will sleep around trying until she gets it, the kind-hearted describes her as a hopeless romantic and the rest call her cheap and slutty. She enjoys good sex thus won’t hold out on a guy yet she enjoys it too, she does whatever she has to do for any relationship and doesn't look back when the relationship is done. Everyday hopeful one day a good guy will appreciate her.

She always thought Dan was the one, he was her longest boyfriend two years and the relationship was still good with the sparks till burning. They met in a club of all places, into bad boys Sandra was smitten by the rugged body and dreadlocks they had a great time kissed, made out exchanged numbers but unfortunately the universe wasn't ready for them to be together.

They both lost the numbers that night, Dan was robbed on the way home losing his wallet and the keys to his place while Sandra left her Jacket with the number in the car rental she hired. With nowhere to sleep, he decided to go sleep at the girlfriend's place whom he caught red-handed in bed with another guy.

So heartbroken, he went back to deejay-ing a hobby he had given up to pursue art and six months later they met at her workmate's wedding where he deejayed, and hit it off. They were inseparable until his art was bought off by this American and even offered him a contract to paint for his gallery full time and he flew out to the states. The long-distance relationship only lasted six months and she was back on the dating market.

Dan was kind, so down to earth that it sometimes nagged her, he was strong emotionally and physically, he offered her friendship every time when they disagreed. He was a friend who listened to her without trying to win the argument. You see women love money like crazy they love a ragged body but they will leave these in a heartbeat for one who really cares for them. When it gets down to it, it’s the small things that really matter.  After Dan left and they later broke up, Sandra dated for a while just to completely let go and wait for Dan, he just got back and they are getting married in October.

Women need Friendship, being a friend to your partner means treating her in a patient, accepting the manner in which you treat other close friends, not worse like we normally do. Emotional maturity is essential, women need this from their spouses. It’s okay to have some childish fun when it’s appropriate, but it’s important for women and men to behave like grown-ups when it’s time to do so, it’s important for the one to see you take head on a tough situation.

Being aware that brute strength does not equal intelligence is also helpful in maintaining healthy communication and connection between the woman and her spouse, it’s important for her to know that you will always talk things out and not resort to violence. (Sometimes it’s better to sit back and think through problems before trying to manhandle your partner into a forced solution). Being supportive to the women in your life can do a world of good supporting your partner is a primary role. When she is thinking of starting a business, buying land be supportive not discouraging like most times.

When your partner needs emotional or practical support, be there to assist in small and big ways.  When she is having a bad hair day, be her strength, just like you would want her to be there for you when Arsenal loses again. Whether it’s taking time to listen, or more active involvement in major decisions, raising the children, finances, etc., make your presence a positive and supportive one, commend her for the little things she buys at home. Validation of your partner's experiences is essential, it can’t always be your way, you can’t always be the smart one just because you are a man, listen to her, a woman's intuition is normally right.

The cultural experiences of adults vary greatly based on gender identity. Recognize your own biases in how you view other women and imagine how your partner might be negatively affected by a world that sees women as less than.

Don’t assume she is making things up when she shares stories of prejudice, discrimination, or unfair treatment. Gender roles constrain behavior; playing a part in breaking down harmful gender roles at home and in the workplace benefits both men and women. Don’t make women jump a higher bar to prove themselves – women and men should be afforded the same rewards for the same investment. Gender shouldn't be a disadvantage in a relationship or a workplace.

In a nutshell treat your woman with respect as you would your mother, like you would want your daughter to be treated. Be protective yet pamper her, let her miss your pampering where ever she is tempted to even look at another man. Satisfy her in bed, don't just go marathon on her, make her fully desired and she will naturally submit to you.