When a relationship ends it is usually because one person has made that decision and very often the other person doesn’t agree. In an ideal world, even though they may not like it, an ex will accept and respect your feelings. Occasionally though, you might get someone who is so strongly attached that they won’t let go at least not that easily, sometimes even violently.
I am talking about those that still want us back but we are not in the least bit interested, those that are so angry with us they call our current boyfriends to spread shit, post nudes on social media especially photo-shopped ones, want us back at whatever cost, call our bosses for this or that in bad faith, attack us on all social media platforms and the whole nine yards.
Some exes have gone as far as pouring acid on the old girlfriend or boyfriend out of jealousy, some have even killed themselves plus the old lover while some have this mentality of if I can’t have her/him then no one else will. We have all had a crazy ex or two.
But what if you are still interested in your ex, despite being mad at them, what if all you need is some effort from them. What if all you need is for them to step up their game, all you desperate for is for them to miss you and realise what they lost. Some people are in happy relationships now because they gave their exes one more chance.
Belinda and Tom met after Sunday service, that day the pastor preached about love; Love of God, love for the parents, love for the neighbour, love for children and love of a man and woman and at that prophesied “today you are going to meet the love of your life, your marriage partner”. Though seated apart and oblivious to each other in the congregation they both jumped, clapped and shouted “Amen I take it in Jesus’ name” When they met for the first time after service, they smiled knowingly, the pastor didn’t lie. It was love at first sight.
After two months of going out they confessed they loved each other. Tom a handsome hopeless romantic with parents married in church, both alive and still much in love, Belinda the beautiful hardworking woman raised by a single mum had met the perfect guy, handsome, intelligent, God fearing and coming from a stable family, it didn’t hurt that they were rich too.
Six months later they both left their parents houses and started renting out, talked about marriage as Christians co-habbiting is a sin but Tom was reluctant and they decided to have a baby first. They were happy together shared chores, trusted and communicated even the smallest of things, once in a while he surprised her with take away at work, other times flowers, she would surprise him with juice and occasionally a quickie at the office for lunch.
They were envied by their friends, they had the perfect relationship, and the trust was to die for. Tom never looked or gave attention to any other woman with or without Belinda’s presence, Belinda was so in love she hated it when guys asked her out, she wanted the ring so bad, not to lock Tom up or trap him for herself but mostly so it would act as a repellent for other guys.
Pregnant Belinda had gone for all the required check-ups but unfortunately their much awaited baby died at birth. Belinda didn’t cry like most mothers do, she flipped, she flipped a switch, something in her broke. The loss reminded her all she had lost in life, she had lost her dad at a young age, and her mother had remarried a good man who died in a car accident with her two half-brothers. After this loss, she went into a deep depression and broke up with Tom as he reminded her of her most recent loss, the biggest so far, she didn’t think she would survive losing him, if it ever came to that… she felt like everything/everyone she loved left her; worse died.
Tom having lost his baby wept for some good time, it took him long to recover from the loss but by time he recovered, she was gone. But he loved her, was still in love just like in their first weeks, he was prepared to do all to keep her at whatever cost. . All he saw was her. Couldn’t fathom life without her, her kindness, beautiful smile, always positive. He stalked her at her residence as she had moved out of his, later she got another job up country and shifted but he found a way of stalking her there too. Whenever she talked to a guy she would get a call from him, different numbers each time reminding her that she promised him forever, that they would be together forever.
As she watched a romantic movie at home she would get a text “remember when we watched movies together, miss you”, some days on her way to work he would text ” you very smart in that blue and black outfit, nice shoes honey”, he would still send flowers, send her a good morning and good night baby text as they always did.A year later they were back together in love like never before, he hadn’t given up on her, that’s all she hoped for. She never stopped loving him, was just afraid that he would leave her too as they all did. Had a grand wedding and are happily married with three kids.
After realising he couldn’t live without her Elliot changed for the better, quit drinking and let go of all his drinking buddies and they are now happily married with 6 kids(many right, I get chills). Sarah took Paul back after he proved in more ways than one that he valued and respected her. Sometimes people treat us bad because they think we have nowhere to go Eric learnt that Eve had the dignity to walk away and changed for the better as not to lose her.
Why did you break up with your ex? Is your love for them stronger than the reason you broke up? Have they expressed enough remorse? Have they stepped up their game? Have they changed for the better? Maybe they deserve a second chance.