This is normally a very nagging question and will raise a lot of feelings mostly for that person who is massaging the couch while watching TV at their parent’s home. For some reason, you have tried to move out but have found yourself there.
This could be because you have no job, you have no money, you fear to stay alone, you haven’t grown up yet or your parents have strictly clung on you.
Whenever you want to make a move out, they go like; “But how will you survive out there?”
For some people, they have just not found the right house to move into. Or It is just plainly what it is, they will move out when they marry.
Regina Nakasolya an agent at Africell says she doesn’t find wisdom in moving into unnecessary expenses especially if parents are okay with you staying at home.
“Stay at home until you are ready to marry or get married. If a guy plan to build your home with every penny you can save off your income. For a lady be a go-getter and start a business. You can even build too for commercial purposes. Then move into one of your own unit. And don’t wait until you sunk with expenses parents will always welcome you back,” she advises.
However, staying with your parents depends on a number of factors; we review some of them.
Location of your parents’ home
To most people, the parents stay in different districts while they work in Kampala or other districts. This makes it completely hard to maintain your stay at your parents. If you work in Kampala but your parents stay in Jinja, it would be foolhardy to insist on staying with them. Unless of course, you are not employed.
Do you love independence?
There are several who would rather be independent, far away from the critical eyes of ageing parents. “That dress is too short,’ ‘You are eating too much’, ‘we don’t like how your friend looks’, ‘you have so many people visiting you,’ where are you going this late!’.
All this can drive you to independence. But this is only possible when you have the means.
Maggie Kemberg advises that at such a time, you should consider having a conversation with your parents, they are in best position to help you.
Gloria Nakirega says she stayed with her parents for three years after university ‘and left them just wanted my independence and to own my staff so I bought the necessities when am still home then got my 3 months rent that I had saved and moved out, have never gone back. Note look for a house with in your means 100k ,150k for starters’.
Evelyn Clarissa has a different story and advises thus; “The choice is yours. I love my independence it’s one of the things that anyone should never try to take away from me. I worked for a year and half buying most of what I needed and broke the news to my parents. I got all the support and even took them to where I was moving to. I was already dating but each of us kept their place till we built our first house and moved in. If I divorced today, I would still move into my house. I am an owl can’t imagine disturbing my parents at night.”
Do you have a job?
If you have no job, there is no reason considering moving out of your parents’ home. You will either become a burden to those around you because you will need to ask for rent and later ask for supper and lunch, before you know it, you have resorted to strange means of survival.
However, staying with your parents while jobless is most likely going to keep you idle and make you comfortable enough, so you still can make the risk of moving out, but make consultations first with friends that have done it or seek a parental talk for advice.
But still don’t let yourself be limited by your ambitions, you can start by moving out with a friend who has space to accommodate you, and slowly you will get the motivation to move out on your own.
Mentally ready?
Moving out is not something you simply wake up and decide to do. You must be mentally and psychologically ready to move out. Bridget moved out of her parents’ home, she had a good job. Two months later, she returned crying she missed them and moved back in. Within a month she was tired of them again, and moved out, again months later she was back. She has since moved indefinitely.
Al Gloria advises that one should critically think about moving out before it happens.
“You’re moving out! (Even if you have money to finance yourself) but the most important thing you need to do is start by mentally preparing yourself to move out. it’s not easy, it’s depressing even! And if you’re the only child in the house, it probably won’t be very easy.’
Also, if you would like to move out of your parents’ house make sure that you do not become a burden to them after moving out. Be prepared to take care of yourself; be responsible. Learn what’s right and what’s not. Your parents won’t be there for to monitor you. So, it is you and your life. But also remember that at the end of the day, your parents’ home is your home, you can always go back when the world turns upside down.”
Married?
Some people have sworn never to move out of their parents’ house until they are married, this specifically goes to females. This could be mostly because they are afraid of being responsible or their parents are just not ready to throw them out to the harsh world of scavenging men.
This is a gamble, it could turn out either way, you could stay in your parent’s house and you are 40 but no man in sight. However, when it turns out right, strictly move out. No one would want to have a wife who stays home and comes to visit her matrimonial home once in a while.
Also moving out before marriage gives you enough space to court your partner. Parents provide a rather cumbersome environment and mostly could suffocate budding relationships.
The time is right?
Nantongo Immaculate says that when the time is right you will always know and factors will push you out.
“When the time is right you will know in your heart you will know. Me even before I finished campus I knew I wouldn’t be returning home after graduation.”
Jane Kabatsi also adds: ‘When the time is right you just go. You wont even ask for advice or listen to anyone at that time, everything will be already be in place for you to go, so just wait for that time.”
Some of the comments in this story are adopted from My Fabulous Homes, a Facebook group about homes and property.
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