They met at a work place he was her supervisor and employee relationships were frowned upon, she noticed he was cute but nothing much-to it had her life to live work and go home. She often caught him staring but that happens, I guess he was curious she thought.
As she became the team leader of a group of colleagues, they talked more on phone about work and slowly shifted to all things personal, though from different cultures they had a lot in common and talked morning to evening, nothing in particular but just enjoyed chatting.
That was nearly 3 years ago, and no, they didn’t fall in love at first sight but they loved at first sight. It was the trust even with less information about each other , it was the favours they offered even without the other knowing, it was the few glances when the other wasn’t looking it was the late chats, the comfortability to talk about personal stuff something they didn’t do with others…. they loved without knowing it. Loved each other as human beings before being lovers, it was in the incapability to hurt the other no matter what, it happened so fast but it was so strong a feeling like they had never felt. But then he left.
More than 2 yrs of long distance chats, writings and calls, theirs wasn’t the come over to my place at weekend, it wasn’t the send me your nudes I miss you so much either, it was a two years deep friendship between two people that loved at first sight without knowing it.
Here were two people who had it all yet were not together, had it all but were afraid of it, they had love, communication, trust and respect this is more than most seemingly happy marriages have but still couldn’t be together it hurts, it hurt. Yes, they were a thousand miles apart, living in different continents but the distance wasn’t the only problem; uncertainty was at the core, but when next they met, suddenly it didn’t feel like 2 years but just a few months, just a few days it was magical.
He was anxious about coming back, he was so nervous that he had played out many scenarios of how it could go wrong. “When I arrived at the airport I was so anxious to see her, I looked around and couldn’t see her face (had she changed that much that I just couldn’t recognise her?), I was little upset, she was late maybe she wasn’t that excited to see me, I hope she hadn’t changed her mind at the last minute.
‘I waited for another ten-fifteen minutes and then there she was…. at the other end of the building dressed in black jeans and a simple white and black top, with her dread locks which I like on her and minimum lipstick. She was looking straight at me I think she recognised me instantly ….smiling that ear to ear smile of hers (missed her beautiful smile).’
‘I didn’t plan it but my legs went as first as they could midriff I realised I was running towards her, I hugged her for what felt like twenty minutes(of course they weren’t twenty) didn’t care that we were putting on a show it was amazing nearly three years of not seeing or physically touching her now here she was hugging me, I was touching her nothing had gone wrong just pure joy… it’s like time had stood and waited for us, it didn’t feel like 2 years of not seeing each other… it felt like home, it was love” Ethan
Many times he had tried to end it all, many times he resolved to do it he was tired of the uncertainty, the heartache on days he missed her, many times he wasn’t sure whether it was love or a deep friendship. Many times he resolved to put some distance from her in fear of hurting her in the end when things didn’t work out and then he realised this distance was hurting her too and he never wanted to ever hurt her.
Their stubborn nature didn’t help the relationship they argued a lot and most times only agreed to disagree but every time they fought they didn’t sleep without letting the other know that fight or no fight they had each other. Sara didn’t share this with him but she too wanted to end it many times it was a confusing state how today it was all rosy and hopeful but a few minutes she felt like ending it all then he would say he had a bad day and she just wanted to hug him, be there for him and make it all go away.
She too was tired of the uncertainty, was it love or deep friendship, yes he loved her but was he in love with her? Now they were so glad they hadn’t quit both luckily had the integrity of admitting and apologising when they were wrong, had respect and trust for the others opinion especially when it was different. It was definitely love… only love could have made them endure the distance, they had persevered they hadn’t let fear and uncertainty come between them.
In the few days he was around, they maximised every day but it still felt too short, woke up every morning for the pure joy of seeing the other, slept knowing in the morning this time around the other will be there not through a phone message or call or camera but in person to touch and kiss.
They travelled around as had been planned for the day but still envied the time on the road because much as they travelled together and wanted some adventure they wished they had more alone time just the two of them. In the end ten days felt like three and sadly he was gone and now she missed every aspect of him, the way he looked at her, that he loved her big nose something she has always been insecure about, the way he smiled at her, the fact that he still blushed at every compliment, that he took every opportunity to at least touch her arms the constant need to maintain body contact, she missed his passionate kisses, she missed the hugs she missed her home… he felt like home.
All factors constant, love doesn’t necessarily mean marriage and that if she/he hasn’t married you it’s not love. There is love and there is a scared man who loves you so much but the fear in him is still at the front. Whereas love is ultimately evidenced by marriage not all marry for love this includes ladies who normally marry for security and society and men for children or family and yes a daily sex mate.
It doesn’t mean that before she/he marries you it’s not love and that you should live in constant fear of whether it will last or not. Ethan and Sara are enjoying their love slow but sure maybe they will get married maybe not but for now they choose love, love for each other.
Love comes to those who wait, persevere, those who give the benefit of the doubt you can’t keep running from man to man, woman to woman because you think you too beautiful/ handsome thus can’t beg, say sorry and have a long list you can call as replacements. There some things that aren’t deal breakers in a relationship but just general human weaknesses which we all have. Couples that make it to the alter, have long lasting relationships or years of marriage are admired and last basically because they don’t give up.
As humans we have weaknesses give your spouse room to change, grow learn from their mistakes as you (who is not perfect) do the same, don’t force a relationship but work hard at it for it to last the lazy/quitters don’t make it anywhere.
#throughmyeyes
