The "Dos" and "donts" of dating

As a dating and relationship coach, I get a lot of complaints from the singles who feel ignored most of the time, so I wrote this article for you if you are single, dating, planning on falling in love but are not yet married.

If you are looking to build a stronger bond with your partner or hoping to attract someone, these tips will help you attract and maintain the right person, you will improve on your stock in the dating game without having to change your personality.

Don’t over call

It’s a common habit for people who have just met or are in the infant stage of dating to want to call each other every second and every minute. Now I know the fire is still burning and you want to hear from each other all the time but it’s not maintainable.

Along the way when you get used to each and are done with the begging stage, you won’t do it, and it might become a problem because the person you used to call might start feeling abandoned.

Then complaints arise that you are changing and might even be falsely accused of cheating because if you are not calling me then you must be talking to someone else.

The other thing is, it might work against you, some people appreciate space and if you suffocate them with phone calls; it might become a turn off. Twice or thrice a day is good enough, good morning, nice lunch and good night. Don’t be so needy!

Don’t cheat

When you are dating, you are friends who care about each other and look out for each other too, so when you borrow money from your friend, pay it back. Unless you asked or were given, pay them if you said you were borrowing. You will have their trust and will actually create a great impression even among their peers. If you don’t, you might come off as thief depending on the personality of the person involved. This also includes picking things without permission when you visit, its theft.

Respect your partner’s privacy

Whether present or not, don’t check phone messages, WhatsApp texts or even try going through dial list, you might get crushed. Keep in mind that you are still dating and not married, you might be on the waiting list and just that will throw you off.

Depending on how bad you want the relationship to work, for the sake of your heart and well being, don’t look for trouble. It’s even a sign of insecurity when you act overly possessive over someone you are trying to connect with.

Also when handed the phone to check out something or look at a picture, don’t look elsewhere, it’s just disrespectful.

Avoid surprise visits

Surprise visits to people’s homes or offices are great but a turn off if you have just met or are still trying to impress someone. If you really want to visit, ask the person if it’s okay to come over, if it’s not, don’t take offence.

When you marry them, you won’t have to ask, you will just show up. More to the point, whatever you do, you don’t want to look desperate. And trust me, visiting without appointment at that stage of a relationship, is a desperate act by a desperate person.

“Only desperate people do shocking things without notice…” Audrey Meisner.

Be nice

Don’t try to look or be cool, always make your partner or date feel comfortable being themselves around you.

Things like negatively commenting on passersby should be avoided, as you make an effort to control your mouth, avoid things like over correcting their mistakes, English and if you must go out to places they are not accustomed to; teach them how things are done other than making them feel fake.

Also when you are out on a date, don’t over stare at them, they will fail to make an order or to even eat and that’s a red flag. It could ruin your chance with them.

Remember to compliment and appreciate them for anything they do well, you want to magnetise them and to create a lifetime friendship.

Be creative

The dating stage is fundamental; you need to pull off your “A” game without showing, which means you have to be creative. If you have been attentive in your conversations you can easily get your target a present they really need.

This is where you get to surprise them if you’re the kind of person that loves giving. Also being creative means being unpredictable, if you always do dinner, once in a while surprise them with a lunch delivery, you will become very hard to rival if you can pull that off.