Is social media ruining relationships?

JAQ DEWEYI

Social media is one of the best innovations of our time.

More than anything, it reduced the cost of communication. You no longer need a lot of money for airtime to call your lover, just a WhatsApp, Zoom call, Skype or whichever app you prefer and you can access them instantly.

Even better, depending on the quality of your phone you can get a visual of whatever it is they are doing in real time, isn’t that amazing?

Well, it should be but just like the late Stephen Hopkins once said, “Technology has advanced at such a pace that this aggression may destroy us all by nuclear or biological war,” I believe the destruction has already started.  Social media is breaking families, marriages and relationships.

On Easter, television personalities Justine Namere and Farida Nakazibwe attacked each other online, with the latter accusing Justin of using fake face book accounts to destroy her marriage.

Whether it’s true or false, the issue for me here is fake accounts. They have become a great weapon for angry exes, and malicious people to create smear campaigns, expose nudes, blackmail and bully. Sadly, when something goes online, it stays and will be accessed by millions across the world.

The Baganda say, “Ebyo munju tebitotolwa,” which means marital challenges shouldn’t be discussed in public.  It’s very important for this screen shot era. Social media has become a family court for both celebrities and everyday people like me.

Zari and Diamond kept their infidelity wars on instagram including their break up, singer Winnie Nwagi also broke up with her physically abusive boyfriend in a snapchat video and I have also met people who think talking about them online or sharing their pictures is the definition of love.

It was a rule at home to stop, kneel and greet elders every time you run in to any, growing up. I hated it but later mum said it was for our own good because a good recommendation from the village elders would matter someday in future. Now checks are being done online.

Our trust and judgment is based on the pimped social media profiles and chats we have with people, only to realize later that we were deceived and duped in love.

My client Ann  has been married 5 years to Herman yet she just realized he suffers stomach ulcers, that he stopped working full time in November last year and that he sold his car two months ago from a face book post on his wall.

It’s true that times are tough and each of us is trying to survive but without communication there is no relationship. Phone calls are replacing conversations and status updates, replacing feelings.

Often when am out for a drink or ice cream, I notice cute couples phubbing each other. Phubbers give more time and attention to their phones than their partners, taking pictures, updating status or responding to comments on line, which makes the ignored partner feel insignificant.

On top of that, people no longer say, “I love you.” They just post it on their walls like any other comment, nice shoe or nice bag. What is even more annoying is the ease with which cheating is done online.

People shamelessly flirt on social media while in bed with their partners late at night. According to the 2017 survey by a US based website called Infidelity Statistics, “10% of affairs begin online and 40% of the time online affairs turn in to real life affairs.”

Nonetheless, social media is a great a place to network and share happy family pictures along with the great moments, as long as you keep in mind that the best relationships aren’t necessarily those posted all over social media.

“Talk to your partner, stop letting inboxes, likes, retweets ruin what you are trying to build because relationships are harder now,”  said Tony A. Gaskins.