Are relationships failing because of women empowerment?
JAQ DEWEYI
Happy Women’s History Month ladies and gentlemen! Yes, the whole of March is about us, to highlight our contributions as women in history and the contemporary society.
Surprisingly before we had the whole month, we had the International Women’s Day and the US had a Women’s History Week.
Actually campaigns to empower the girl child started way back in the 1880s before the first Women’s Day took place on the Feb.28th 1909 in New York City.
According to MasterPeace Club Uganda - partner’s coordinator Enock Nsubuga, the designation of these months, weeks and days in honor of the women was very much needed at the time because their contributions world over were being ignored, right now, it’s time to balance the gender equality gap and pay some attention to the men that have to live with these, now very smart and empowered women.
While everyone is raining praises on the ladies, for us we started a campaign dubbed, #AbassajjaBawandike, a unique angle to gender equality (SGD5) aimed at involving men and boys in the process of achieving equality for women.
To achieve equality for woman, men and boys need to be part of the solution. Equality is only achievable if we work together as men and women.
The campaign calls for men to write and express their struggles with the women in their lives.”
For me this also somehow explained why a high number of high flying career women are single or struggling in their love lives. Last month I actually shared some relationship tips for such sisters in this column but that conversation helped me understand the situation deeper.
These empowered women are actually not proud, it’s not that they are so blinded by greed for wealth and have ignored their homes or marriages; they just might have a challenge bigger than themselves which is the quality of the men available.
We were raised to believe the men are strong, that they can take any challenge and over come, even at home, daddy was the strongest man in the world.
I am sure any child would feel the same away about their dad. His word was final that if mummy said yes, his No would change everything.
Partly because also mums were humble. But things have changed; a new survey has shown that 69% of divorces are being initiated by women.
Luckily for me, I know someone that falls in the statistics, Pherrie Kim of Guvnor Uganda and the newly established HP Beauty Spot.
Pherrie is one of the most empowered and emancipated out-going women in Kampala, and because she just initiated a divorce, her response was key in understanding the puzzle.
Just like Enock, she believes the men are not prepared to take the pressure. So it’s not that a smart woman doesn’t know her roles as a wife, it’s the failure of the man to understand she is an independent being that has to put her brain and skills to WORK.
She said, “Marriage is a partnership and we should BOTH help each other grow spiritually, economically and mentally.
If you want me to throw my DREAMS and career away as proof of love for you, it becomes complicated.
For four years I lived that life until my AMBITIONS wouldn’t let me just settle as a house wife. I had to move and that’s how my salon and fashion line came back to life.”
So, from this research, the men need empowering too for relationships to work. I have decided that the next article will be about helping men dating or married to empowered women.
We have obviously been talking to women so long and it has worked. They became better partners yet their husbands and boyfriends were not progressing.
If you are lonely, thanks for reading. Take it as a time to read more love therapist articles to better you. If your people skills are great, no woman will intimidate you. The secret is to learn, grow and make your mess your message.
