Don’ts of a new relationship
JAQ DEWEYI
New love is very exciting, you both can’t sleep. You want to talk all the time about each and everything, even the mere thought of him or her brings butterflies. I still remember those days too, seven years later. The heart surely can’t forget something like that. My friend Stella has just started experiencing them so she calls all the time to update me, he said goodnight, but tonight he is working late, am nervous, we have a date… and am happy for her. On the other side, Aisha’s boyfriend of two weeks is no longer calling, when she calls, he doesn’t answer. What could have gone wrong? Why would somebody crazily in love with you suddenly switch off just after 14 days? This is what could have happened.
Revealing too much
However great a person seems, until the relationship has grown, tested some storms and can stand, watch what you say. Only share important information that is beneficial to the person like family beliefs, religious beliefs, tribe, totem and those basics that will drive the relationship forward, otherwise sharing how your aunt is bewitching you not to get married, yet you are beautiful or how grateful you are to God for leading you to each other after 90 failed relationships may shutter your hopes of a happily ever after together.
Prejudging people
The road to finding real love is bumpy; sometimes in our quest we get fooled by fakes that we miss the deal. Not all that glitters is gold, it might as well be a clay brick painted in gold. So don’t prejudge people. Just because someone looks too cool, loaded, they fit your dream love script, doesn’t make him or her right one. You might even end up watching the one you rejected for not having a flat screen on your TV. See, because of your poor sense of judgment, you missed a quality person for a fake.
Moving so fast
They say time will either promote you or expose you. If you rush in to a relationship, don’t be surprised by the things that happen to you in a short time when someone’s true colors come out. What if in Aisha’s case the guy is married and has gone back to his wife? What if he just wanted a stress reliever? Nobody knows what exactly happened but 14 days of knowing someone doesn’t make them dating material. Take some time to meet their friends, know some of their relatives, confirm the name you know is real or place they claim to work, just enough to trace someone in case they go missing.
Don’t be a happy fool.
Just because a woman is called Peace doesn’t mean she will be a peaceful wife or because she is Joy she will be joyful. Be wise and pay attention to your conversations with someone despite how great or religious their name sounds. In case they lied, as they get comfortable, they will forget and the truth will come out little by little. They say ignorance is bliss, only a happy fool would be contented to make a life changing decision like marriage instantly.
Look needy or over invest
Imagine you were too hungry and decided to go fishing, carried your hook and straight in to the water to catch fish without any bait, would you get anything? Obviously not! When a relationship is new, be smart, invest in it too. Don’t ask for transport all the time, beep, wait for the other person to surprise you, give you gifts while you receive and give thanks. Also over investing in someone you have just met to impress isn’t wise, first study them.
