Why do we fail to spend harmonious Christmas holidays with the very people we grew up with? 

Children look forward to Christmas holidays for many reasons. Christmas holidays are a time when children can sleep late watching television and wake up even later in the morning because they don’t have to go to school. 

Christmas holidays are a chance for children to catch up with friends who may go to different schools but happen to live in the same compound. For the older children in secondary school, perhaps an opportunity to compare notes on how they ar handling their steady approach towards adulthood and its attendant issues that parents want to put off for another decade. 

 

But Christmas holidays are not often a fun experience for the adults in the room. Christmas holidays, for many years, have been a stressful experience because they come with costs. It is when you are a grown up that you realise Christmas was always fun because you were not picking up the tab, the bill, now you are. 

Christmas time, though, is not stressful just for the monetary considerations. Christmas is a time when you go home and meet the people you share DNA with, siblings and relatives. Apparently, world over, meeting with family is not always a happy event. Below are some of the comments why the Christmas period brings out the love and vile in many people. 

One commenter said, “Christmas as a family was one of the happiest times of our lives. It is really sad but we grew apart as we grew older.” 

Why was that? 

An answer followed, “As we grew older, we developed different likes. So we have nothing in common anymore. Some siblings or relatives only call to ask for money. Then there are those siblings who think they have become better than anyone else because they have money. But I think the main thing that makes these get togethers harder when we are older is because the people who used to keep us together have passed away.” 

Another commenter agreed heartily with the last point, “I think the big shift happens once your grandmother passes away. The home is no longer the same.” 

The economic disparity cannot be ignored, for some though, “The fact is that you are treated and respected based on the level of your success. It is quite imperative that you make money, if you can.” 

 

A confessional follows this, “I drifted away from some family members because they accused me of being a thief simply because I’m jobless. After finding the items they accused me of stealing, none bothered to call me and apologise. So I chose to separate myself from them. Peace of mind over everything else.” 

But another argues, “Get togethers are costly, guys. Petrol. Accommodation. Back then a family could be fed on a mere shillings 100,000. But today the cost of living has skyrocketed. You can’t expect someone to enjoy a get together when they don’t know how they will make it through the next week.” 

A successful commenter defends the position of those who are “looked at as better.” The commenter argues, “Sometimes you work so hard to achieve whatever you get and cousins just want handouts. That is where the problems start. Family members should help each other out but you can’t just be giving away money to family. Some family members hold you back. It is better to let go.” 

 

“The problem is that as we grow older, we cannot avoid comparisons. Whenever family gets together, there will always be gossip. People gossip about who has what job, whose children are in a better school, whose children behave better? We end up competing because that is just how human beings are,” argues another. 

But someone asks, “What about our grandparents and parents? What made them balance their successes and unity to keep families together?” 

An answer comes in the form of a life story, “I’m the glue that’s holding my nieces, nephews and kids together. My siblings died and left me with two kids each. At a young age myself, I became a mother to them. My oldest niece is married now. I’m only 40 but I treat them all like my children and insist we meet. Family is family.” 

And that, in the end, is really what Christmas is about. Family, the celebration of that bond of love that makes life worth living. 

Have a merry Christmas, y’all!