Has anybody ever saved your number as "don't pick" in their phone book? Read this

Bits of ME

‘Is something wrong?’ the person on the other side of the phone call asked, less than five seconds into the call.

‘No, nothing is wrong, I just called to check on you…,’ was my the casual response.

As you read, this could be happening in real time.

Hello, “ani afudde?” loosely translated: “who has died?”

“No one has died”, the caller's responds but before he/she says anything, the person on the other line blurts out, “okay, what is it?”

Encountering such dialogue within my circle of friends or family; I begin to wave the red flag: in the books of this person, I am now ‘bad news'.

In any relationship, I believe whether sibling/friend/relative/ your partner, what you plant is what you yield and if you never seeded at all, expect no returns.

For any of our kindred, a friendship watered down is accompanied by a phone call of that nature.

I have run into incidents where a call from someone and boom…that bizarre reaction empties all the juices out of the good conversation I am involved.

Bits of YOU   

"Now what does she want," shrugs a spouse at the incoming call of the partner, looks at it, adjusts phone settings to silence it.

Have I touched your spot yet or not?

Feeding a relationship is not merely a custom of the tangible, but essentially what the bible calls the fruits of the spirit; Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, goodness, Faithful, gentleness and self control- Galatians 5:22.

All such goodness has been lessened by the digital world that has closed physical spaces, loosened nuts that tightened partners and now choking in each other’s space (calls, etc.)

Loved ones are avoiding our calls like the money lenders/doomsday- we need to seed fruits of exchanging intimate thoughts, especially on a mental or spiritual level.

There is now this much derived phone contacts ‘witch list’ that boldly identifies contacts as ; one for money, loan, sex, omusajja webiku loosely- man for the bedbugs (fumigator) etc.

The casual identities we ornament our contacts, often accustoms a similar habit from us towards them.

At the back end of the phone contacts, these characters have no idea they’ve been tagged as; stress, don’t pick, disaster or should I say it? ‘BAD NEWS' and soon to be BLACKLISTED/BLOCKED

Therefore, one needs people who bring in what we today call the good vibe.

Studies have linked awful interactions with family and friends to poorer health and good connections and social support to improve health and increase longevity.

If research suggests that caring behaviours trigger the release of stress-reducing hormones, then we need to deepen our connections with our loved ones especially in this era of the pandemic. Its our safe cover in the current storm.

The ones you cast out and failed to water may be the ones to pull you out of harm's way but how do you bring yourself to make that call and expect cordiality?

 

How to build strong relationships

*Periodically check on your friends/loved ones

*Avail yourself and be there when needed to help

*Offer the Listening ear when needed

*Offer counsel/advice if you qualify for that situation

*Involve them in sharing /exchanging ideas.

*Lend some social support (tangible or intangible) this shows care and love

*Arrange to visit or arrange activities that will create happy moments

*Seed friendships through children (if your kids are friends with your friend’s kids or your siblings etc.)