Tubwine: "Reports about my death have been grossly exaggerated"

Genero Eli Tubwine, a senior army officer in an up and coming country, has rubbished reports that he is dead. In a telephone conversation with The Rogue, Tubwine said that such reports should be treated with the contempt they deserve.

"Those reports are grossly exaggerated. I am alive and kicking," the furious genero told The Rogue.

He said it is unfortunate that many people wish him death, which is abominable in our culture.

Those who wish him death, he said, are unpatriotic and are belittling his contribution to the peace the country enjoys.

"I sacrificed a lot to ensure that we have this peace and now there are people who want me dead," he said.

Ever since rumours started circulating about the death of the genero, people have reacted differently.

One posted: "Bad News, Tubwine is still alive"

Another said he had already ordered for five kilos of pork from his local butcher only to hear that the genero is still alive.

Tubwine is a controversial genero whose statements usually attract criticism from those who loathe.

Some say he comes off as arrogant and entitled.

But the genero said he had received overwhelming love from some people ever since the false news broke.

"People have been calling me from allover the country expressing their support. One lady even got diarrhoea when she heard that I had died," the genero said.

Tubwine said in the event that he dies, he will call a press conference so that the news comes out of the horse's mouth.

The Rogue is a satirical column that runs once every week on Nile Post