Are you falling in love with someone else while still in a relationship? Here is what you should do

He wasn't even supposed to be there, he was supposed to go to dinner with Sandra his long-time girlfriend and later go out with the boys to catch the game. There she was clad in a navy blue dress with just the right jewellery, chocolate skin, smiley eyes full lips an easy smile, the kind that reaches the eyes. He was smitten.

Her eyes up she scanned the room and he was enchanted then she spotted her friend smiled and slowly modelled her way to her, it was a long walk for her but a very short one for Mike, he wanted to watch her walk like that for hours.

The room seemed still as she walked across, his eyes never left hers until she reached her spot before which she bypassed him by just a few inches, there was a shiver in his whole body, his heart

was racing he couldn't say a thing for what felt like minutes.

He had fallen in love at first sight. He didn't enjoy the party as he had planned all night he kept searching for her, just to get a glimpse. The way Manchester United was losing these days he was so glad he came

At the party.

On his way out he met her but couldn't get out a word, she greeted him, introduced herself as Jade, complimented him on being smart all the while he was just staring and admiring her, she later suggested

they should hang out sometime and left.

After leaving he awoke from his stupor chased after her and asked for her number. He never slept for the entire week thinking about Jade, they later met for coffee and she was more beautiful the second time. Emma his best friend and her workmate had briefed him that she was a no-nonsense intelligent lady and the only one to survive their boss who has a huge sexual appetite.

Having grown up in a broken marriage where his dad left his mum for her sister, he hated betrayal, it had broken his mum and took her a while to love herself later alone trust anyone. He constantly thought

a bought Sandra and how he was hurting her because he felt this was no fling for him, he could never go back.

Even if it didn't last with Jade, he had seen the sun. Four months later he was still madly in

love with Jade and she with him but still in a relationship with Sandra. He knew he had to do something. Falling in love is one of the single greatest life experience there is. Unless, of course, you’re already in a committed relationship the kind where your parents know each other, and the person you’ve fallen for is someone else entirely.

In that case, it is nothing short of anguish. And yet, love cannot be stopped. In the words of Selena Gomez, the heart wants it wants and he wants Jade. Falling in love with someone else while dating another does not make you a terrible person, feelings are caught they are not from the brain that you can just switch them off especially if the other loves you back.

The deciding factor in that equation basically centres around one thing: the manner in which you extricate yourself from your existing relationship. No ghosting, no it's me, not you pretences, no I need to find myself phrases, no mealy-mouthed platitudes or lies and for the love of all things sacred, never ever break up by text.

There aren’t enough emojis in the world to make dumping by SMS acceptable, particularly when it’s

a bunch of breakups and I am in love with someone else. It’s so tempting to send a text or make a phone call, it's way easy and you don’t get to see the hurt in their eyes but it’s as disrespectful as

its borderline mean.

Mike sat Sandra down and explained to her they had been in a relationship for too long that they started feeling like family and he wanted more than that. He wanted to get excited to meet her not for it

to feel like a routine and when asked if they now start working on that he compassionately told her that he has always loved her but was in love with another now.

That for the first time in his life he felt a thing in his body, while just looking at her (Jade), kissing her that he never felt for her. On asking why he hadn't told her earlier, he said he had to be sure and it was the real reason they hadn't slept together in months. Sandra was crashed but she understood.

When you find yourself in such a predicament, for your own sake be 100% sure of the new relationship, I for one wouldn't take back a SOB that left me for another. Often, matters of the heart are very

confusing, and people often don’t know what they want but don't be caught fantasizing about the ex you left for your new catch.

Be honest with them. It’s said that the head has no control over what the heart rules, and it’s true. We fall in to love, we fall out of love. We aren’t static neither are we robots. We are living breathing human

beings, and we are imperfect. We make mistakes. So be honest with your

partner and tell them what’s really going on in person.

Also, talk to them as soon as possible as you wouldn't want them to hear it from a different person that hurts worse.

Be transparent because without it, it can be very confusing to the other person, and they can hold on to hope. Don’t pretend you want to break up for a different reason, or that you want to go on a break. They will entertain the notion that it’s just a phase of yours and that you could work things out later thus you holding them as emotional hostages.

For their sake and growth tell them the exact reason: there is someone else. If your ex is spicy pick a public place for the breakup as their house may not be safe. It’s not easy telling the person you have been with, one who at this point in your relationship probably thought you are about to ask for

their hand in marriage or that you two should start a family,  that you met someone else.

But you have to tell them for their sake and for the sake of your new catch. Much as they found you in a relationship (especially if they didn’t know before it was too late) they wouldn't want to hear you to constantly say I break up with the other at the right time. Officially ending the old one affirms your seriousness in the new one.

#throuhgmyeyes