Government should introduce more taxes

JERRY SESANGA

It is very unpatriotic for many Ugandans to resist or evade taxes.

For we all know that our loving government delivers on its promises and it needs more money in the coffers. Say for example in the campaigns, the president promised to distribute free sanitary pads to girls and now almost every road junction has free sanitary pads just in case.

We have as well invested heavily in security, every place is so safe and secure that our honourable members of parliament want armoured vehicles to only shield them from the mosquitoes that disturb them while attending to highly delicate issues of national interest.

It is obvoius that our government needs more money to ensure that the status quo remains the same. I personally find many areas government has not yet exhausted in regard to taxes payable by Ugandans.

There should be a tax on academic qualifications, why should one own more than one degree? People with masters degrees and PhDs need to be taxed.

Instead of spending time researching at universities, Ugandans are encouraged to take up farming especially the president's drip irrigation method.

Women with big buttocks need to be taxed. They consume alot of public space and also wear out our seats. All citizens should have sizable buttocks that do not become a burden to our economy.

There should be a tax on men with pot bellies as it is likely that they consume more than others. Instead of the country exporting goods for foreign exchange, they are instead consumed locally by these men.

All Ugandans should have sizeable stomachs to ensure public fitness.

Many Ugandans evade the taxes imposed on public transport and fuel by choosing to walk. All people found walking on the streets should be taxed. This will reduce idleness and demonstrations in the city.

Government should enter each household and count all the possessions and tax them accordingly. Very many Ugandans have extravagant possessions such as large beds while the users are small.

Why should one man have a larger screen supposed to be used in a cinema hall all to himself? Let the government tax such selfishness.

In fact they should measure the length of every mattress and those with more than four inches should be taxed. It is after all not good to be very comfortable in bed, it breeds laziness which is bad for our economy.

All men in search of wives and girlfriends should register and be taxed accordingly. A simple tax can be charged on those approved and certified to be single.

Well as a sir-charge should be imposed on those already having a wife seeking to add another. Those who already have more than one wife should be taxed according to the size and beauty of each wife.

Children's lunch boxes should be opened and taxed. Some parents pack so much for their children that others remain envious.

We need to ensure parents teach their children financial discipline. Students should also declare how much pocket money they received from their parents so as government can tax it.

Village wells giving people free water are causing the country a huge financial loss. Government should buy lids for these wells, and put operators to charge every villager coming for water.

People who put on branded shirts with company logos and words, photos or party colours such as blue are advertising and it is right to tax them.

Ugandans are all advised to put on plain white or yellow shirts. Anyone seen putting on other colours such as red, logos or branding of any sort without paying taxes will be arrested and prosecuted.

All single schools should be taxed for promoting gender discrimination.

Owning of more than one mobile phone should also be taxable according to their value.

Growing unnecessary beards and hair should as well be taxable, government wants to ensure each and every Ugandan is smart.

Dozing in public should be taxable, this can create for government more revenue especially from our dear MPs and ministers who sleep off during key government functions such as the state of the Nation address.

Government should as well buy a fart measuring machine that each and every Ugandan who passes out any smelly fart should be identified and taxed depending on the magnitude of the smell.

With such excellent sources of revenue which I advise government to take on, our country is likely to grow to middle income status.