Signs you are happily settled but not happily married

Jaq Deweyi

While talking about happily married cheaters, one thing that constantly came up was the fact that a happily married person is contented accepts the imperfections of their partner and will not go searching for happiness elsewhere except in their marriage.

I realize there’s a lot of happily settled out there who may not know it, if you notice any of these things in your life, work on turning it around when you still can. Divorce and breakups are not exciting, any opportunity we have to protect our marriages and relationships, we shall take. Happy reading!

You find peace in the absence of your partner

If you honestly love someone, you want to be with them; you want to beat the traffic just to see the smile on their face and can’t wait to hear how their day went but if you are always praying for them to get stuck in traffic, delay wherever they are and hope they can’t keep travelling so you can be alone, there’s no love.

The reason you are happily settled is because you have refused to let them go. Whatever your reasons are for staying with someone that irritates you that much and accepting to be called their wife or husband, if they can still be fixed try, if they can’t, set each other free.

Your best friend is your ex

My workmate Robinson constantly gets calls from his ex to visit whenever the husband is away; she even drives all the way from Entebbe to Kampala just to chat with him. Luckily for her, this guy moved on, loves his wife and doesn’t plan on destroying her marriage either, so he keeps reminding her to call and check on him. Now that is happily settled person.

She finds more happiness hanging out with her ex, shares her business plans and deepest secrets with him instead of her husband. To a point that this ex knows her secret accounts and property that husband has never heard about.

Your love is ceremonial

If you only acknowledge each other as partners in the presence of guests or at events, then you both already know that there might be nothing to save.

Instead of keeping up appearances and acting for the world, do yourselves a favour and go where you are celebrated and wanted. There’s always someone out there praying for a man or woman like you.

You are no longer intimate with each other

Sex is indeed sacred as they say; it bonds people and settles cases that might seem too complicated and heavy to sort by the two people involved. When you both no longer feel intimately attracted to each other, it’s time to pray, fight and get help.

I am not talking about a once, twice or a week, am talking about months, a year, where would you expect your partner to find pleasure?

A tip that works is to stay in the same bed whenever you are so mad at each other. Whatever happens, don’t shift bedrooms, stay in the same bed until you are both calm to talk about the issue.

You are no longer appreciative of each other

When you get to a point of failing to appreciate and honour each other in a relationship, do something to save it.

Feeling that whatever your partner does, they owe you instead of being grateful is usually a sign that  you are falling out love, that’s when you start making comparisons between your partner and other people’s partners, that’s when you realize you rushed into commitment and all those thoughts that are destructive.

If you are at that point in your marriage or relationship, if possible, find someone to guide you because on your own, you are no longer in condition to find the way.

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