It’s been over 18 months since my friend Latifah broke up with her boyfriend, yet she still can’t see the possibility of a great love life without him. Am not judging her or acting surprised in any way, I understand that heart breaks can be pretty disorganising.
To help my friend along with many other Latifahs or Latifs, I decided to consult a couple of broken heart survivors to share tips on how they overcame this dark season of their love lives and they you will be amazed by their experiences, anyone struggling to get over a break up should hear this.
Accept that it has happened and open up.
The most important thing is to accept the situation, acknowledge that you aren’t the first or the last to be dumped or to suffer a broken heart. Then make a resolution not to be controlled by that heartbreak. “My heart breaking event was so serious; we had a kukyala date and introduction which the whole family was aware of. I tried to keep quiet about the breakup but stress was killing me until I spoke to my mum,” Hazel.
Look at the situation positively.
If it was meant to be, no matter what happened, you would still be together. Ask yourself if staying together longer would have been worth it and you will realize that the same thing would have happened along the way. Instead appreciate your ex and be grateful that they saved you time, that way you will realize it’s not a sentence.
“I weighed between both positives and negatives, when I realized the negatives were more, I used them to train my mind and concentrate on a life without her. All the activities that happen in our lives are psychological and philosophical” Ibrah Kent, administrator of The Antidote Relationship Talks group.
Change your routine and Pray
“The break up left me devastated, I cried till I could cry no more, my heart bled till it could bleed no more and my body hurt, till it could hurt no more after a radio presenter had played me, made me a single mum and abandoned me…” said Lynn.
After realising that a pity party wasn’t going to change anything, her ex wasn’t going through the same turmoil; his life was moving on well, she joined a prayer club. There she found hope, new friends and new hobbies like travel.
Now she is over him and getting married soon to a great man.
Take a break from social media
To avoid the temptation of sending your heart breaker a begging message because you see them online, take a break.
“I made sure to avoid and disconnect myself off all social networks that connected us. Little by little I found better friends off line, learnt some new skills and am over her,” Fiq.
Take lessons from that relationship and the break up
“I had been dumped by three guys before my last break up, for me it was time to meditate on my mistakes in all my previous relationships,” said Lorna.
It is true that most times when trying to comprehend a break up, we only fault our exes and ignore the fact that we might also need a personal review.
Lorna has now realised after time off doing self reflection that her men were leaving because she is too tough, inconsiderate and intimidating.
Understanding where your faults were in your previous relationship will make anyone the best wife or husband in their next.